this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2024
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chapotraphouse
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So what was she supposed to say to her bf of 2.5 years, "hey if I saw you on an app i'd totally have a meaningless one night stand with you and then never talk to you again"?
It seems to me that this man is just highly insecure that his gf may have had previous partners because he views her as his property basically.
I don't see how someone telling their partner "if I saw you on the street I wouldn't find you immediately attractive" is something that wouldn't bother you. Maybe the dude is overreacting, especially since she seems conciliatory and apologetic, but if I'm suffering from a period of body dysmorphia and my S.O. tells me that it would hurt a lot. People like to feel desired and this compliment, intentional or not, could easily be taken as saying you're not.
She said she wants to marry him. how is that not a huge compliment? it also definitely implies sexual attraction. if my partner said that to me I'd be
for weeks.
If you're in a good headspace I think your reaction is 100% percent typical and the right way to interpret it. The kicker is sometimes you just feel like shit about your body and that changes the way you understand it. I hope this guy gets over it because it clearly wasn't meant that way, but he'll have to work through his emotions to do it. It really does impede the way your mind works
She could just not say it, she doesn't have to say anything about it. It's not like they were having a discussion or she was asked directly about it or something.
My girlfriend occasionally notes she'd have noticed me at a party or in the streets if I wore that outfit before we were together as a compliment, which is nice, I assume it's more in that realm and not "I don't care about you at all but you're hot"