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I just realized up til today I’ve always thought of depression as something that happens to “other people.” I don’t think I’m depressed? But I also don’t think I’m not? I don’t know anything, but it’s probably an ADHD mood thing.
spoiler
I think it’s consensus that mental illness posting is fair game in the trans mega.I didn't realize I was depressed until my egg cracked and I saw how disgusting my bathroom was.
And I've also found that periods of depression seem to be interspersed for me with bouts of more manic behavior, I use the word restlessness. But they seem to oscillate for me in a sort of energetic dichotomy.
On some level I have to allow it to. Which is different from indulging it. Because that can introduce a whole nother energy which is aggression. Like, recognizing I've been depressed and that it's overwhelming and that I don't necessarily have the spoons to fix everything right at the moment.
My therapist says to give myself more grace and I'm practicing that to the best of my ability. And to appreciate nature more when I'm feeling lonely.
I’m pretty much constantly fluctuating between feeling good and motivated and feeling lost and empty. In the former mood I have a bunch of “brilliant” ideas and tons of energy, in the latter I’m obsessive and tired. I’m easily rude (consciously or not), but not really aggressive. I prefer journaling, introspecting, and philosophizing to therapy lol.
sometimes i wonder if normies have less dialectical lives. Maybe they just dont work out the contradictions as much. Maybe normies dont exist.
I think most people have pretty dialectical lives, though I don't think many people stop to notice. I think advanced meditation practitioners have less dialectal lives, less caught in the cycle between the poles. Finding the middle way between birth and death. Because that's the dialectic I think most of us are secretly hung up on.
As for normal, it's another dialectic with abnormal.
Based. The world is dialectical, but I think a lot of people are caught up in metaphysical worldviews and averse to change. It’s just society.
Can relate. There was a period where I thought it would be hard for me to feel depressed because of how I generally just feel disconnected from my feelings. Didn't really know what dissociation was at the time.