site's back, time to party 
this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2024
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Went to a party for the first time as myself. Met a couple of other trans women and felt shy talking to them and really curious as both are on estrogen and I haven't started yet.
I did get a chance to break the ice with the tall, beautiful blonde, who was a great dancer! Told her this was my first party as myself. She gave me a big hug and said it only gets better from here!
Spent most of the morning trying to Facebook stalk her but didn't have any luck. Maybe she'll find this here and send me a DM :)
It really does. Especially when you're already out there standing up for yourself. I get that this can vary a lot depending on general trans safety of your area, but it has always done me good to unapologetically put myself out there, and to not make my right to live my best life dependent on the approval of some randos who could never walk a mile in my shoes.
It does get so much better! But part of me also misses those early moments. All the first and how exciting they felt. Now I just feel normal living as myself, and it's amazing! But if you can, try to enjoy the journey.
dysmorphia
I have been and last night was wonderful. Today I'm feeling a lot of fear and it almost feels like yesterday happened to somebody else, which is to say the boy mode is bad because of the political climate after what happened yesterday to Trump.
When I see myself in the mirror I still see a woman (thank you long beautiful hair), but when I rest in my body I feel like a boy and it sucks.
Ofc it's often difficult in the beginning, and continue to be to some extent for a while depending on the person. But also, you are at the very beginning. If you can, focus on on the woman you see. The body will come. Hell just seeing yourself as a woman more often may make the body less of an issue, though HRT just becomes more and more tempting regardless based on my experience.