site's back, time to party 
this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2024
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Dear Celeste, we are tentatively breaking up. It's not your difficulty or your pixel art, it's that you have the utter gall to be a pixel art platformer that takes 30+ hours for a reasonable person to complete, and that you lock story behind extremely high roadblocks.
Chapter 8 is this brief, deeply obnoxious run of timing challenges; Chapter 9 picks up narratively after The Summit (7) and it's about twice as long as any standard chapter, and straining my ability to play. I hate bounce mechanics because certain hitboxes are scuffed, I hate the inconsistent Hold-Jump-for-bonus-lift mechanic, this chapter hasn't had a cutscene since the start anyway. Would Mega Man X be good if it was three times as long? Deeply unserious.
Wavedashing was a pain in the ass in melee too but for some reason gamers love that shit. Chapter 9 is for the birds
Haven't had to use it yet, I quit on the screen where you have to ascend a series of falling spike platforms with springs on. Shortly after Power Source, not because I couldn't do stuff but just because I lost the motivation. After 30 hours :)
Gotta keep in mind that Maddy associates with people like Shoujo. I think the last level of Hyper 6, as an extreme example, takes like 50-100 hours for most really good players, for example. Granted, it's a very small pool of people who do that kind of thing - I can only name 4 people who've cleared that level - and even they only take on those type of challenges on rare occasions. But that level is considered a bit of a classic and is regularly referenced in other hacks.
This is like, some Kaizo Mario shit I assume? Do normos need that kind of literacy to play trans pixel art platformer about anxiety???
Basically. Technically Hyper 6 is a standard very hard hack, but the difference between kaizo expert and standard very hard isn't relevant for this. They're both ridiculous challenges meant for masochists.
Celeste started as mostly just being a platformer and it was during it's creation that Maddy's egg cracked. The original studioname had what is now her dead name in it. The original game was intended to be difficult and Farewell was meant to be an extra challenge for the same type of people who play kaizo expert hacks. And there's a lot of overlap between serious Celeste players and kaizo players... Although maybe kaizo players might entirely be within the circle of Celeste players
I look into something I think is cool. -> there is an inexplicable subculture attached to it -> there is a ton of internet lore attached to it. -> I dont understand.
Small wonder why [weird freaky book] is such a fuckin cognitohazard to me
The idea that Celeste is subtext with Kaizo Mario is fucking bizarre to me, the airdashing absolutely shrieks Playstation Mega Man X.
I know almost everything else you have told me, and again I don't find Chapter 9 to be that hard. Harder than the rest of the game yeah, but 9 hasn't had any vicious chokepoints like the autoscrolling portions of Chapter 8. I'm pretty miffed that people keep acting like I am a skill issue,
Truth is I just got past Power Source and kinda said "nah". I lost motivation. I don't even care what the story is anymore, that's locked away, if the game is just gonna rub my nose to the grindstone for lengths of time that make PS1 JRPGs look tame. Any given classic Castlevania is like 3-6 hours on first go. Chronicles is harder than Celeste but at least it knows when to fold. Critical support to people who enjoy being ground down for literal hundreds of hours I guess.
Celeste its own unique game, probably with multiple inspirations. I haven't been part of that community long enough to know how much Maddy was a part of it back then either, if at all. For all I know, Maddy started associating with that community later.
Yeah. A lot of things, you can just grind away at and eventually get things to work. Most Celeste sections (except the last one) are fairly short, so they seem pretty manageable with determination if you aren't going for the golden strawberries. But I've definitely seen some people spend many hours clearing Farewell or some of the C-sides, and its probably not worth it for most people (myself included - I'm fine just watching others while doing other things).
There are golden strawberries?
Ayo fuck this game...