this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2024
1039 points (99.2% liked)

Microblog Memes

5837 readers
2430 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (3 children)

please explain to me how the specific manner a teacup managed to get into my ass, matters as to whether or not it will go well.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Without any basis of expertise in any aspect of this topic, a sharp, forceful motion seems more likely to cause damage than a slow pressure. Also, if someone genuinely fell on something, they probably didn't do any prep work; whereas a deliberate insertion might involve things like stretching and lubrication (but probably not in this context).

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

while i dont disagree with you, two things. It probably wouldn't end up in your ass, and two, it would probably be very apparent, your rectum is incredibly fragile and will essentially implode at the sight of literally anything spooky.

If they did fall on it, they would almost certainly be joking about it, doing a haha funny about how the "yeah and then i fell on it" happened, rather than given a long and draw out story about how they "fell on it"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

But regardless I'm at the hospital for them to remove a teacup from my ass. I am not leaving this hospital until the teacup comes out of the asshole in question. They're going to be working closely in that area anyway, I would think checking for contusions would be standard practice. It's not like the relative insertion speed of this teacup is going to break my elbow as well, any injuries are going to be generally in the same zip code.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Essentially, the amount of internal damage they need to look for is inversely proportional to the amount of lube you used.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

what happens at infinite lube or at zero lube?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

zero lube is all damage, and infinite lube is no teacup.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Sure.

Perhaps you were naked in your pottery shop refinishing the teacup using, say, an oscillating sander, and the hot, newly roughened surface of the rim of thd teacup was propelled violently into your anus. What could potentially be observed as contusions in and around your anus should also be investigated and treated for abrasion and burns.

Or, in fact, you were naked, having a magic tea party in the bathroom with what, through conversation it is revealed, were your imaginary friends while you were tripping on research chemicals. The 3rd cup of "tea" you were drinking started to taste like cinnamon as your ass began to feel so incredibly empty. We might need to do a specific tox screen for the party drugs, and the mystery tea you might have found under the bathroom sink. Some of that mystery tea could also have spilled in your ass, by way of the teacup vehicle. The blunt trauma wounds on your anus may be masking chemical burns.

With imagination, developed from observing human behavior, it is relatively easy to appreciate the benefit of medical staff asking questions and getting answers.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago

With imagination, developed from observing human behavior, it is relatively easy to appreciate the benefit of medical staff asking questions and getting answers.

if these were the expected answers, i would only be asking.