i am leaving the dirty puddle of self imposed detransition and finally entering the wider sea of a proper hrt thing finally (tried to find that one instagram meme of the fish swimming in the dirty puddle then escaping to the wider sea but couldn't so instead imagine this as the example of boymoding me for this metaphor:)

::: spoiler account of weird hrt journey and false starts to getting here (also very brief mention of past drinking problems) ive known i wanted to do hrt for 2 years, weirdly i knew i wanted hrt and to change my name before i even realised i was trans (literal dumbest girl alive moment ( ‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING 100 GECS LAURA LES REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! )). and basically i started diy estrogel like 8 months ago bcs a friend put me in contact with a friend of a friend of theirs who was in an anarchist british mutual aid group and they sent me three squeeze dispensers of it but i had some trouble getting AA so started for a bit just using a low amount of the estrogel, then i decided id rather do mono bcs AA has fucked up reactions with excessive drinking and basically the whole male line of my family has drinking problems and i'm a former drinker, but then i got cryptoscammed trying to buy it so but then a wonderful friend offered to help cover it for me so i could still get it but the place i was getting it was out of stock by then, so i had to wait like two weeks to order it again, and then i just put off actually buying needles and stuff for months bcs i was scared to make such a big leap kind of, but now im making it and the needles and all the other stuff is arriving in the mail by friday so yay