Rejection Sensitivity is not a stranger to many or even most of us, and with a lot that has been going on with this site recently, including the user who was sitebanned shortly after a highly visible post about exactly this issue. Really really not a good look, and we want you all to know that we're aware of that. (just as a side note, that ban was made by the sitemods/admins not by us ND mods and I don't know much about it yet, but rest assured we're gonna check into it)

we absolutely understand the fear and apprehension many of you might be feeling. I personally have felt it too, and since that post a few days ago it's been constantly on my mind.

We want this community to be a place where ND comrades can come together to share in what brings them joy, support each other, and feel comfortable expressing themselves, and right now it's clear that we're not there yet.

So we are taking action to improve the atmosphere and culture to ensure that ND comrades don't need to fear being ousted from one mistake, bad take, or 'off' social interaction. We will do everything we can to keep that from happening in our community, and in pursuit of that here's a few important announcements/ ideas that we'd really like feedback on:

Important community stuff!!

First and most important: we want everyone here to feel safe and comfortable to post and participate in this community. I know there's been a bit of fear lately that even just one simple misunderstanding or 'off' social interaction will get you banned and slandered. We just wanted to make it crystal clear that Fakename and I will not let that be the case in this community. I understand very well how it feels for a social engagement to be going great and then suddenly its gone sour and it's your fault and you don't even know why everyone's upset, and then without being given a chance to even learn what the problem was or grow, are cast out. That won't fly here. You won't be cast aside for one or even multiple mistakes so long as it's clear you're doing your best to improve. Obviously, this isn't a blank check for people to be abusive or hateful and get away scot-free, this policy can extend only as far as good faith. If you have any concerns or questions feel free to ask in the comments or dm me!

Second, we've been getting suggestions that we should find ways to help users be able to spotlight their interests, as we've done here with this megathread, one other idea I had is to explicitly state that if you make a post about your interest and you want it spotlit, just @QuillQuote or @Fakename_Bill in a comment in the thread and we'll pin it!

My thought is that, if any of y'all are like me and could accidentally write an essay when I got going about what I'm passionate about, we could have a permanent rotating pinned thread that's essentially a 'daily' interest megathread, and it stays up until someone posts a new one (or 12 hours, or whatever feels right)

Lastly, I want to hear what you all would think of a more robust tagging system of posts, such as how [effort post] is commonly used, but maybe for stuff like [support] when you need to vent and want support, [venting] for when you need to vent but don't want anyone to engage with it, stuff like that. I think this would be helpful for a number of reasons, but mainly because it will normalize being able to directly ask for what you need. It's easy to imagine someone making a post to vent or complain about something but is not wanting or comfortable with people giving advice or pitching solutions. Another thing I think this would help is it would help remove some ambiguity and also set a tone, which I personally find very helpful. Importantly, I want to clarify I'm specifically not saying tag every post, if it's not properly tagged the post is getting removed. You don't have to tag your post that's a bit or a meme or a random thought you wanted to post, but simply to encourage people to use this system when they feel it's appropriate for them.

I think it's okay for someone to explicitly asked to be upvoted, or for support, or to feel comfortable saying "I stayed up all night making this" because you stayed up all night making something that, while it isn't anything special in the scheme of things, is something that you are proud of, and if you all agree I think we should work together to make that a reality in this community!

🙄

Stinking up the place

I've always treasured the fact that I'm weird, and as such have lots of little fun memories that I think back to positively of times when I was a fun little weirdo, but those times are the exception not the rule of my childhood, I'm sure I'm not alone in that

I was diagnosed with ADHD and started on medication at 12, but not really told anything about what it meant for me or how to deal with it, and when I was 18 -literally when my parents dropped me off at college- was told I was autistic

Edit: don't forget to upvote posts here so they're more visible and people can find the community!

lying in bed quietly trying to fall asleep is terrible. My brain doesn't stop, it's like a pitching machine that's gone rouge and I'm the batter stuck in the cage.

Whenever I'm finally about to fall asleep, I notice myself falling asleep and become fully awake, because my brain goes "Yes! I'm falling asleep! Hurrah!"

Every time :angery:

For me, it's messing up/ doing something socially unacceptable or hurting someones feelings without noticing. In my life I've done this many times, and the times it happened the worst were when I was having a lot of fun, and had no idea I was doing something wrong. I'm the king of miscommunication.

I had a long history of this, especially as a kid, and because of it for a long time whenever I was having a lot of fun in a social situation I'd suddenly remember past times when I messed up, and then I'd go down in a self-doubt spiral and it'd kill my fun and start acting weird.

Damn! First Trump and ben garrison get banned from twitter, now this! 2021 is spicy

You can’t downvote me even if you wanted to! MY MASTER PLAN IS FINALLY COMPLETE!

Now I will have the most downvoted post in the history of this site FOREVER!

MUAHAHAHAHAHA

Neurodivergent peeps (and also neurotypical folks too, don't get me wrong) get interest policed really really often, yelled at for having fun wrong or enjoying things too much or ‘the wrong way

So this is a PSA to all you comrades, make sure you never do this. It’s like mocking someones laugh or smile, it makes them self conscious and ashamed in the moments when they feel happy

Edit: to clarify what I mean by interest policing:

someone having an interest in a topic or hobby that someone deems unacceptable and takes it upon themselves to ruin the persons fun and make them feel like shit for enjoying it. Like an adult liking lego, or a boy playing with a girl toy, anything like this. It’s especially common for neurodiverse people such as folks with autism, very easy for us to be fixated on our particular hobbies or whatever it is, that doesnt conform to traditional definitions of what ‘people your age/gender/demographic should like/ be doing’

basically it’s like if your friend likes a movie you don’t like, and you go out of your way to destroy the joy they have for no reason other than they liked something you didn’t

Trans Rights are Human Rights

Edit:

I was angry when I made this post. I should have cooled off first but I didn’t, and I apologize for that. Though that does not change the reason for this post, just the way I’m gonna say it:

I’m not, and I don’t think anyone else is, upset if someone doesn’t want to set a pronoun. The anger came from the comments on the other post, the reaction of some people who stated they didn’t care about the issue, but also cared enough to complain about the fact that it was brought up.

They cared that they were being bothered but did not care to show solidarity.

I think that’s supremely fucked up. I know what it’s like to be on the other side of that cruel apathy, and I will not stand to see it directed at my comrades.