[-] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago

The main reason I'm still a virgin is because fucking coconuts legally doesn't count

[-] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago

sounds like yet another ploy to steal my cum.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I saw a picture of a vagina on the internet one time and also I make my own moonshine because its the only way I can afford alcohol. This makes me an expert in this field.

Getting a spoon and scraping yeast out of a vagina or whatever probably won't make very good bread because there won't be enough of it to make the bread rise. Unless you feed it and put it in your fridge until all the vagina yeast multiplies it probably wouldn't work and you'd have to use normal non-infected vagina yeast for that anyway.

You could more easily put some vagina yeast in a sugar mash to make vagina moonshine and the yeast will multiply while producing alcohol which is way less effort on your part. It would taste like vagina if you did this even after distilling it. There is unfortunately no such thing as penis yeast so I'll never get to drink a bottle of dick liquor.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago

if you remove the aluminum can part its a lot easier

[-] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago

I tried this one time. All that happened was I shit my pants.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Yes, but not enough to actually go outside, talk to women or spend money. Do you have any idea how sexy women are these days? I went outside 2 years ago and I saw a female ankle. Haven't stopped cumming since.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago

an ass cork. Buy yourself a carboy bung, plug your ass with it and apply lots of glue.

[-] [email protected] 44 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

I fucking hate these kinds of questions. D is the CORRECT answer because TECHNICALLY html is a markup language and not a programming language but the average person irl will just call you a dipshit for trying to explain that. If this were a question on a shitty academic exam, its going to be a 50/50 toss up on which will get counted as correct because the Autograder Bot Knows All(TM) but you better not fucking use AI to get your low effort AI-generated homework done quicker because fuck you.

[-] [email protected] 77 points 1 month ago

Self hosting FTW

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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

I have a REALLY hairy pussy right now

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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

We've all had pebble poop, liquid poop, stringy poop, but has anyone ever had SINUSOIDAL poop?

I even used highly sophisticated 3d simulation to make a diagram of this phenomenon:

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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

So I have a computer. Plugged into this computer I have a keyboard. A keyboard with an actual CAPS lock on it since I'm not a cave man or some kind of communist that thinks the shift key is better.

butt there's a problem. NO MATTER HOW HARD I PRESS THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON, ALL THE NUMBERS KEEP COMING OUT AS LOWER CASE. I EVEN HAVE CAPS LOCK ON RIGHT NOW WATCH THIS SHIT: 1234567890. HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO TYPE NUMBERS HIGHER THAN 9 IF CAPS LOCK NEVER WORKS ON THE NUMBER KEYS.

Shitty keyboards are a conspiracy by BIG ALPHABET to sell more books. Just let us capitalize our numbers already for FUCK sake. This isn't ancient Rome where everything is in Roman Numerals. WE INVENTED NUMBERS HIGHER THAN 9 A LONG TIME AGO.

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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

I know a guy that claims you have to poop after sex or you'll get pregnant. Since guys don't have vaginas does that mean they have to poop the baby out their dick? What even is the difference between a vagina and butthole aren't they basically the same thing?

I hope this isn't true because I'm a 30+ year old virgin which means I can't poop after sex because I never have sex. How am I supposed to avoid getting pregnant if I can't have sex so I can poop after doing it?

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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Does this ever happen? Can this happen? I imagine this is why you're not allowed to cum on a plane even if you do it in your pants while still in your seat. One time I was on a flight and I had gone 51 entire minutes without cumming so I cummed my pants and they had to divert to a different airport just to kick me off.

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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

It's fucking impossible to tell if women are interested. What if a woman makes eye contact with me at the grocery store? Like maybe it just happened and there wasn't any deeper meaning.

What if a cute woman comes up to me, says she likes me and we exchange numbers? Maybe it was just a prank and she didn't mean it and dropped a bunch of hints indicating it was just a joke that I didn't pick up?

What if after the fourth date with the same girl she invites me to her place, we watch netflix for a bit and then she takes off her clothes and starts sucking my dick? Does that mean she likes me or am I just being a creep?

Romance is fucking impossible to figure out that's why I went to school for rocket science with a minor in quantum physics.

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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

This could be the secret to finding out if a woman is interested in you - judging by the color of her cum. If there are any college students who actually do this kind of thing out there, consider trying it out and report back. For science.

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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

I was trying to brainstorm ideas. Asbestos? Foraged berries? Dried cum? Glue? So many options and non of them are good.

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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Or do you just not do it and hope you don't go to prison for it?

[-] [email protected] 55 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Christianity has done more harm to modern society than drugs ever could

[-] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

Trump also appointed the same bug to be in charge of the nighttime.

One of the biggest scandals of Obama's career is that he did NOT appoint the weird bug to be in charge of nighttime.

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MyNamesTotallyRobert

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