What are you planning on using to replace toilet paper when tariffs and hyperinflation make toilet paper unobtainable by common folk? (lemmynsfw.com)

submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I was trying to brainstorm ideas. Asbestos? Foraged berries? Dried cum? Glue? So many options and non of them are good.

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[+] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

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[-] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Bidet ?

[-] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

yeah but does this really cancel out the need for toilet paper? What about the dingleberries that bead up when you spray the caked-on shit with water? I hate having a butthole. If I had 3 wishes i'd spend them on this: 1. i wish i didn't have to poop. 2. I wish pooping and poop wasn't a thing. 3. i wish it to be impossible for anyone who ever finds another wish-granting geenie to wish pooping back into existence.

Cum will WIN.

[-] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

This only works if you keep your butthole clean-shaven without so much as a little bit of anus-stubble. Otherwise the turds just bead up into dingleberries. Having a clean ass without participating in neofeudalism (it's not even real capitalism anymore, fuck me) requires a little more effort than putting your ass in the shower after each shit.

Survival books suggest using cloth rags and just letting them stain, cleaning them the best you can and only using them for ass wiping but surely there is a better solution than that.

I'm planning on using femboy cum. Maybe covering the shit in a layer of cum will keep it from stinking. Since CUM WINS.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Trees still make leaves so that's a start then the garden hose connect in the shower helps also most countries have an abundance of disposable clothing that could be used.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Have you ever tried wiping your ass with leaves? It doesn't really work. The shit doesn't stick to the leaf and it just breaks and you're left with poo finger and an itchy ass. Corn cobs kind of work, or at least better than single-molecule thick workplace toilet paper but in a regime where living-wage employment is pure fantasy I doubt there's going to be a lot food.

this post was submitted on 06 May 2025

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