sorry you gotta go through that. You don't deserve it and I hope you have other people in your life you receive decent treatment from.
I grew up with very abusive parents and it's just wicked how the ones who are supposed to love and protect you can be your worst bullies.
Keep being a good person and hang in there.
i'm almost 50 transfemme and just started HRT last year so i have residual testosterone effects at my hair line and crown. i super sympathize, hair issues (too much here, too little there) are my only real source of dysphoria.
here's what i have to offer:
it looks worse in photos than irl, i have verified this with mirrors and from people i trust. The camera is HARSH. A little mirror on the back wall of my bathroom so i can see the back and top of my head in the big mirror helps a lot.
It looks worst when wet, and not great when oily or limp.
things that really helped me:
growing it out, the longer it gets the less noticeable it is.
volumizing shampoo really helps.
my hair stylist dyed my hair blonde and it reduced the contrast between the pink scalp and brown hair a LOT. My bald spot has gotten smaller but even when it was pretty big (to me) this helped significantly for me.
i learned that femme hair brushing is different than masc, you brush forwards a lot farther forward on your skull as a femme, and this means there's more hair to brush backwards and over your spot.
Combined this leads to thick fluffy hair going backwards and not contrasting, and thick fluffy hair going forwards to cover the jagged hairline
puffy headbands: i wear these a lot, every day just about. In addition to keeping the brushed hair in the right place they add volume at the top of your head, when seen straight on the thinner hair up top can make your hair look less full on the top but the puffy headband does a little optical trick and it looks like it's the headband squashing your hair and not like you have less. They are also really feminizing and i like matching them to my outfits.
With all of these combined i end up loving my hair and silhouette. The only thing i'm not super keen on is swimming but 🤷🏼♀️ can't win em all and fuck the haters swim dresses are so nice i do it anyway.
also: idk how much this actually helps but i also take folic acid and biotin supplements and try very hard to get my daily rda of protein. might just be making my pee expensive idk. I also got one of those silicone shampoo head stimulator things and use it when showering to stimulate the scalp and i use a rosemary hair mask once a week instead of conditioner. I'm really pulling out all the stops cuz i'm so old.
here's a pic my wife made (of a hair model) to explain the brushing thing to my girlfriend and I, we were both brushing forward from a couple inches behind the red line as that is how we had always learned to style our masc hair. my hair is straight but I put the headbands about where the vertical red line is and the hair is all brushed backwards from there covering the spot. You may already know all this but it might help other girls!
i met my trans gf on Lex, some other trans friends on Bumble for Friends and have made other rl trans friends through these initial online friends.
lex got bought and is kind of shitty now but it's still, at least by me, super queer and active daily so you'll see people post local events like meetups you can attend.
I understand many of the local queer places advertise on instagram and facebook as well as you might try these platforms if you can stomach them.
That's some pretty heavy stuff to be going through on your own. My heart goes out to you i spent a long time wrestling those black thoughts and I know how miserable it can be.
For what it's worth I care about you and what happens to you and I know there's others here who do too. Please be kind to yourself!
congrats!! enjoy your lovely day :)
I love it so much!
There's a lot of content so you can browse whatever interests you. My feed is mostly girls (almost) kissing, street food being prepared, pets and interesting questions being discussed. Fashion dancing. There's this bass guitar girl who is the coolest person i have ever seen she's like a character from a movie. I have found many queer and transgender people there which makes me feel very welcome. I haven't received any guff from being openly trans there.
There are very few ads. What there is is influencer style product placement stuff easily avoided. I truly love this aspect.
There is almost no contention. The moderation is swift and heavy handed and if things aren't kept light they get removed. I have seen serious topics like transgender rights being discussed but no arguing seems to be tolerated and no hate speech. There's been a couple 'transgender is a mental illness' posts i saw before they were deleted but they were all by americans. I understand that political posts are removed.
The people are lovely and amazing. I have a post of my cat with 100 comments saying how cute she is and showing me their adorable cats. Everyone i interact with is very nice and positive and they seem to be genuinely caring. Most of them seem truly delighted that we are there. Some Chinese living abroad lament the anglicisation of what was for them a remote window back into China.
the interface is very usable. I use a translation app to write my replies but XHS added an inline translation button and you can long press some other text for translation so understanding things is generally easy. I take screen captures and my photo app translates any other on screen text.
You can't use the shopping tab. Eventually you're presented with a list of chinese cities to choose from and can't input your own city.
we call the ground up seeds coriander!
best place on the internet
thank you for this @[email protected] !!!
great comment thank you for writing it!
i have done this several times just tell the dealership or private seller i want to take the vehicle for a used vehicle inspection and never had and complaints. Saved me a bundle once when a guy was selling an acura loaded with aftermarket mods that drove like a champ for a great price. Mechanic found that the frame had been damaged and rewelded. Mechanic told me he wouldn't put his kids in it so i passed.