this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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top 39 comments
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[–] [email protected] 62 points 9 months ago (5 children)

Really? Me? With boobs and all?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Yes, but there’s no promise they’ll be any better than the boobs you already have.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It's ok man, your boobs are still great

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

But are they better than the cats boobs

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

How can they not be better than no boobs

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It would be worse to have boobs that are trying to kill you with boob cancer.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

At least i die with boobs

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

The boobies add weight for an effective workout.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You could have them if you try

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

This skin suit ain't gonna sew itself

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

New gender goals just dropped.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

And shitting on the floor!

[–] [email protected] 39 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm actually in bed and farting, thank you very much. One part of me is getting a work out at least.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What powers this fart art? Shrooms, KFC or good ol taco bell.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Well in truth, it has to do with four elements. You see, inside of each person exists the ability to master one of these elements or 'bend' them if you will...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

AWWWW YEAH NOW I KNOW WHY I CAN PEE FROM MY BUTT

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

I've mastered all four, I am the assatar.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Just don’t shit the bed ok?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

But he is your adopted one who loved ypu like his own (insert sad backstory )

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That may be true, but I love you as if I were.

But….please stop wiping your ass with the bed sheets.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

Instructions unclear, shit smeared on wall

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

If I exercise, I won't be able to rest my phone on my gut.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'd rather be on the actual toilet instead of shitting my pants on an imaginary toilet.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Sir, for the 5th time you didn't have to shit your pants.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Who says I had to?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Is sitting against a wall exercising?

Edit: yes, yes it is. Ive just found a new lazy way to work out.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

Well it might be called a wall "sit", but if you're doing it right then it's a pretty good core workout and you probably won't be able to do it for long

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Don– Don't sit on the toilet rim... That's just... nasty. :{

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

I shit in a bowl. not on the wall!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Either way, I'm gonna be shitting.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

You ain't have to call me out like that

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Feels good to be seen.