Mine is
- Consenting adult
this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2024
399 points (94.4% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
27165 readers
3179 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Preferably human
And breathing would be nice
I don't know don't want to feel too picky
Besides, she could just be being friendly. You never know.
I think sapience is a prerequisite to consent, so humans would be the only qualified candidate (native to earth at least)
Cops are pigs yet they can consent
Oh yeah, good point!
- Consenting adult
- Not a cop
load more comments
(1 replies)
As long as it passes the Harkness test, I’m down.
*Elven women grumble on the sidelines*
load more comments
(1 replies)
Now, I don't want to be too picky, but her being alive would be nice.
> Hi mom, hi dad! Meet my gf [redacted]!
*whispering*
> Yes, she's a little bit dug up corpse, but don't say that around her: she's kinda sensitive about it.
(Stolen from a random video/podcast)
I also get upset when people say i look like a corpse,
Just because i am one doesn't mean you have to constantly point it out!
I mean, alive, consenting age, not Intellectually disable, not in a coma.. also, we all know can"t be fat
(optional)
instance checks out
Female (optional)
Not even that. If they are just feminine thats enough for me
furries have entered the chat
Negotiable...
-ish
Too bad you're cutting off half of human population! ;-)
Yeah op got no chance
Meanwhile, here are my Garfield requirements:
-
is an orange cat
-
is funny
-
is part of a comic strip called "Garfield"
load more comments
(1 replies)
And girls have the opposite problem. Too many guys out there who are interested, but no way to know which ones are good.
Being a straight man looking for a partner is like dying of thirst in a desert.
Being a straight woman looking for a partner is like dying of thirst at sea.
Is it because sea water is undrinkable?
load more comments
(2 replies)
Maybe the main problem is that the guys who are interested are solely interested because the girls require their one and only requirement of being, well, female.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Preferably but negotiable.
(optional)
So closed-minded! I'm sure you could loosen a bit this criterium, think of all the cute cat-eared femboys available in your area.
edit: typo
How is this different from a straight guy trying to seduce a lesbian?
Call me crazy, but I think it was just a joke continuing along the lines of OPs "I'm not picky" joke, on a shitpost community, not a serious request to be OP's partner.
Like if I commented "eh if you're fine being less picky, I, Dave, can be your girlfriend", would I really be a weirdo sex pest like you're making out? Or would I just be someone having a joke on the internet?
That's fair, but there's also the context of some very aggressive "I can unstraighten you" peeps on the fediverse. Mostly femboys and trans women. They're all over blahaj.
load more comments
(3 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(3 replies)
Same energy as a straight dude trying to 'fix' a lesbian.
This is what Arlo's legs actually look like.
just below the camera it just instantly cuts to full-sized human legs wearing thigh-highs, mercifully the transition is hidden by the miniskirt
They are pretty good at hiding in my area.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Someone is being too picky...
You only date females? Wow that's a really offensive and insensitive thing to say. Also unrealistic, as this criteria blocks out half of all people. Prepare to get cancelled /s
I'll settle for a ai driven robot girlfriend at this point.
Contentious
Those requirements disclude many other options. You may want to reconsider.
view more: next ›