this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2024
361 points (93.3% liked)

Greentext

4342 readers
1017 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 38 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 86 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Then you realize that you died somewhere between steps 2 & 3.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I once saw him down six chained spicy Italian glizzies without breaking eye contact. Anon’s got this.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Your instance fails the scunthorpe test. It says s-p-i-c-y.

LemmyNSFW admins keep making rookie mistakes.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

As in the function or that I removed comedy? In either case, yes.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Silverbacks are adult male gorillas, not adolescents. I'm beginning to doubt that anon has thought this through at all!

[–] [email protected] 45 points 9 months ago (1 children)

His plan is completely bananas.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

If anyone tells him that, he'll likely go completely apeshit

[–] [email protected] 40 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

No because this is ~~classical~~ operant conditioning not Pavlovian.

Edit: Corrected for my stupid response while exhausted.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

I think its like every pavlovian is a classical but not every classical is a pavlovian.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

This is what happens when I'm posting while exhausted. It's not Pavlovian/classical, it's operant conditioning.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Because a raging silverback gorilla that can bench two tons just isn't enough - it needs to be a swole silverback for it to count.

Some guys really have self-confidence issues.

No wonder even his made up girlfriend dumped him.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago (1 children)

There's no such thing as an adolescent silverback. A silverback is a fully mature dominant male. They don't gain the silver coloration until they are mature, so the entire premise is a contradiction in terms.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

According to the foundation’s website, the growing problem affects one in every 29 million Americans, and one in every 80 Congolese.

💀

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

"After all, the gorilla is still in their basement"

lmao

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

OK, I you got me until I checked the source

[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Couldn't anon oh i don't know get ripped himself ? Or is their ex a gorrila too cause that would explain why anon need a gorrilla for fight

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

Reading through the green text

What kind of deranged experiment is- Oh. ........Oh.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

If you're going for bulk and rage, you're forgetting the copious amount of steroids...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

Using Makima's face for the post was the cherry on the cake.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

So much effort... Just deliver to her adult male chimp after 3 weeks in solitary confinement.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Did anon have a workout buddy and this is about cheating?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Or you could buy gorilla feed from the zoo and mpmd's gorilla mind and gorilla mode. Then after your transformation is complete you take drugs and kill your ex girlfriend.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I swear I've seen this in Family Guy

[–] [email protected] -5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This was funny until it became misogynistic, I guess

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

How? It could be a woman with a woman as an ex, nothing in the post suggests gender.

Methinks projection from you, friend

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

We are talking about 4chan here, but you are more right than wrong.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Fair point lol