this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2024
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Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.) came in fifth place in a straw poll of voters in the district where the controversial congresswoman recently relocated and is trying to win reelection to the House.

Boebert, who was first elected to represent Colorado’s 3rd Congressional District in 2020, announced last month she would switch districts and instead run for reelection this year in the 4th District, after its House member, Rep. Ken Buck (R), decided to retire from Congress.

The new district for Boebert would likely give her a significantly better chance at reelection if she wins the Republican nomination. She currently represents a swing district, and Boebert had seemed likely before her switch to face off a second time against Democrat Adam Frisch, whom she defeated in 2022 by fewer than 600 votes.

The 4th District, meanwhile, is a solidly Republican district that has elected a Democratic House member only once in the past 50 years.

But the results of the straw poll Thursday, which followed the first debate among GOP candidates running for that district, indicates Boebert may have an uphill battle.

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[–] [email protected] 160 points 9 months ago (5 children)

Here's hoping her eventual career with Brazzers pans out as well as her Congressional career.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 9 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago (3 children)

It would be more productive than what it was parodying.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Now this would be porn I wouldn't watch

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

At this point in US politics .... someone could be capable of maintaining both careers at the same time.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago (2 children)

You know, I'd watch it, just for the humiliation factor of a fall that hard.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago

There are easier ways to get erectile dysfunction.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I think that would be more respectable than what she has been doing. It's just honest sex for money.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

More likely phishing banner ads

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

Onlyfans site is probably already signed up

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[–] [email protected] 88 points 9 months ago (7 children)

Boebert is ‘exhibit A’ that members of Congress should be required to pass a minimum standardized test of basic civics knowledge prior to candidacy.

Such a test would have undoubtedly prevented Boebert, Greene, Tuberville, and other flotsam/ jetsam non-serious “legislators” from their embarrassing placement.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 9 months ago (1 children)

If those tests existed, the #fascist #GOP would have already turned them against the citizens of the USA.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Yeah it's tempting to be like "oh it could be a simple test, like name the three branches of government". But the right wing (and maybe a few assholes from other parts of the spectrum) would inevitably push it towards Jim crow era voting tests.

On the other hand, what if we set these up as a honey pot? Anyone who tries to sabotage the voting test gets disappeared? No, no, that would be ruined too.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What if it was the same test we give people who are applying for citizenship?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That might have the side effect of making citizenship easier to get, which is probably a net positive.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Just remember that anytime you think of something to help people, the first thought conservatives have is "how can I use this to hurt my enemies"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

in fairness, that's the first thought a conservative has upon seeing anything

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

Fun fact: Senator Tommy Tuberville failed to name the 3 branches of the US Government he is part of.

Good times.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

We don’t even have to make a new test. Just hold them to the same standard we hold new immigrants to.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (7 children)

https://slate.com/human-interest/2013/06/voting-rights-and-the-supreme-court-the-impossible-literacy-test-louisiana-used-to-give-black-voters.html

OP film yourself taking this test and post the results for us to grade. You have ten minutes, you need a perfect score to pass. This is a very real poll test given to people in Louisiana (at the discretion of poll workers, of course) to determine whether they were allowed to vote.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

Sure— but your suggestion is red herringly tangential as it pertains to A CANDIDATE holding office in Congress.

I am not running for office.

Our representatives, however, should (at the bare minimum) understand how government works in my opinion— which was the basis of my post.

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 9 months ago (4 children)

She needs to win over voters one HJ at a time

[–] [email protected] 50 points 9 months ago (1 children)

These guys figured out a more efficient method:

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (4 children)

What if I did middle out?

My favorite part was they’re still discussing it and say Richard’s been in there for hours, meaning they’ve been occupied for hours optimizing. 😂

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That's a lot of tickets to Beetlejuice

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

"So, how do we do this? Do I just pay you here or after..."

"Nah, you schedule it online using Ticketmaster. We'll start with a little vaping for foreplay and should be done by intermission."

"Okaaaaayyyyy...."

"Hey, you're not a cross-dressing democrat are you? I have to ask cuz I had a bad experience once and my pimp got mad at me."

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 9 months ago (2 children)

As a resident of the district this asshat currently represents, I was disappointed that I wouldn't be able to to vote her out of office this year. Sounds like that won't be an issue for the 4th either. Womp fucking womp you piece of shit traitor.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago (4 children)

As a resident of her new district I will be profoundly relieved if my neighbors prove to be slightly less nutty than they appear. I’m sure I won’t be super-excited about whoever they come up with, but I would appreciate being spared this person. 😂

I won’t even fool myself that we could ever elect a democrat in CD4. We’ll be lucky to scrounge up a candidate at all.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I don't know who the competition is but I hope it's not one of those "she's not crazy and racist enough" situations

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I’m very much looking forward to not ever having to pay attention to her again.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I saw Bobert finishes and I was like well "What new musical came to Colorado?".

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Also....what about her date? Did they finish?

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 9 months ago (1 children)

She’s just not blowing the right people

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (2 children)

She's more of a hands-on kinda person.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Oh no. Now who will be in charge of heavy petting during congressional hearings

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago

I read the headline as "Boebart finishes fifth grade". My reaction was "That's nice, dear." in a very condescending manner.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Okay, Riker is back... but which Riker?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (2 children)

[actual footage from Colorado's 4th district]

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

Well, Boebert is the Q candidate

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago

Hope she finally fucking loses.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (4 children)

The 3rd district in Colorado is not a swing district. It became a swing district because of Boebert. It was pretty red before she showed up.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

Cool. Send her to Florida

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

It became a swinger district because of Boebert

I think you meant this ^

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

HAHAHAHA, get fucked, dime-store Baronness, you fash trash.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (3 children)

looks like it's back to giving handjobs in public

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

HAHAHAHAHAAHHAAH

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