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Soy Biden
(hexbear.net)
Choosing my president based off how many chairs they could carry when the teacher asked for help in the gym
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The next election shouldn't be debates. No ads, no rallies. It should just be these two geriatric fucking goons having a pizza carrying contest. The one that can carry the most gets the nukey nuke button.
Trump leans in to the mic, and says "physical challenge"
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Oh yeah, well Stalin personally carried all the grain out of Ukraine with one giant spoon, checkmate liberals
pff lol nah, gorbs was the first and only soviet leader capable of carrying pizzas.
fair enough, most trump supporters would need an f150 to carry 8 pizzas
Also probably a heads up that the delivery guy isn't white so stow the firearm.
you may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like
New American measurement unit just dropped. Old man strength/dexterity measured in pizzas carried
can y'all imagine how sad an Iowa pizza is
Looks like Little Ceasar's, so it costs 5 bucks and I can smash half of it at 2AM when I'm hammered and the other half at 11AM when I'm hung over as shit but other than that 
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It's incredible how bad of a pizza parts of the Midwest can create.
Completely distinct flavorless layers of sauce cheese and bread that are somehow not interactung at all despite being in direct contact.
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a 8 year old's idea of presidential success
showing my manliness by carrying 9 pizzas
i wish this was how low the bar was when i was a kid, then i wouldn't have believed any of the USA #1 shit at all
Trump could never throat that much glizzy.
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OK let’s not pretend like we haven’t gushed over that clip of Bernie running.
Bernie who?
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i could carry 9 pizzas
Oh yeah? Then where is your name on this graph of pizza carrying prowess?
in the top tier
part 2
The sad thing is that I totally agree. 
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Readers added context:
the boxes were actually empty, he probably could have carried more if they were full tho.
Probably true tbh
I fell my face into the pizza and I cried so much
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this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2024
208 points (100.0% liked)
the_dunk_tank
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