The Hexbar

I saw graffiti of an octopus but all its arms were cocks and it was labeled COCKTOPUS so probably that

Bottoms Up

Girl Dinner, and the logo is an opossum eating out of a trash can.

idc if scaring away anybody who isn't my specific brand of disaster lesbian is a sound business idea, this just sounds too good to not do it.

Good Boys and it's for blind gay men who can bring their guidedogs in

I'd make it caveman themed and call it Homo Erectus

The Pound

pup gear or a fursuit mandatory

or you get given a collar on entry, and maybe a leash

i'm putting too much thought into this

if you donate £10,000 into my bank account, i pinky swear that i will open this in a disadvantaged neighbourhood (where i live) and not just spend it on enough mdma to kill a small village

The Cocktagon sounds more like a gay MMA gym.

Nobody said Trap House yet?

It'd be a gay bar the size of a warehouse called "Sam's Chub" instead of "Sam's Club" and you can carry out an oversized shopping cart of twinks.

The bar would be called "No Straights" and it would enforce that as a policy

The Hot House

And it'd be plant and greenhouse themed.

6pm-3am It'd be a shitty rave-nightclub at night with lots of blacklights and tall palms, trees, flowers and tropical plants that would glow under the blacklights (only aimed at the plants bc those things can burn your skin with long exposure). Lots of living walls in high-up spots (so the drunks and dancers don't eat them or whatever). LGBTs only, straights get fed to the plants.

8am-2pm In the day time it'd be a pleasant sunday brunch spot (except every day would be Sunday) with lots of sunlight streaming in through the ceiling skylights and lots of pretty plants. We'd have tons of fun activities for the LGBTs who don't like to drink and dance. LGBT only, straights get fed to the plants.

We would use it as a front to do crime. Lots of crime. So much fucking crime. Probably kidnap Commissioner Gordon while I'm at it.

Formerly Chuck's

The "Call Me Ishmael" (I am reading Moby Dick, which is not about moby's dick but may turn out to be about dicks idk)

Jar Jar Twinks.

First Draft: It would have that weird lighting that turns everything greyscale, a fancy dress code, cold war era decor, and atomic bomb themed novelty cocktails.

Dr. Strangepub

or

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Cock

slur bar

NFL Clubhouse

Ramrod

"Pickle's"

With the quotes

"The Local Gay Bar"
Should be good for getting all the straight bros trying to pick up women that go to gay bars for a safe space, to come by. Then the actual gay bars can be nice places again

A trans hangout space called:

The Button

I'm from New Jersey so I would call it the Pork Roll

There was one literally called "beefcakes" in one of the cities here, surely we can do better than that.

It was a gay bar that actually sold hamburgers (lol) and everything was pink.

Hexbears and JinxTwinks

The Vatican

The Cock Pit

'Starlight' and there would be a big mural of the stars over the main seating area with LEDs in the stars. The rest would have lots of chandeliers and astrology/mermaid motifs. Overall, it would be sort of Art Nuveau but also dingy and you could get a beer for $2 or a well drink for $4

Crankshafts

Over the Rainbow seems appropriate.

Tippity Tops

Mullen's Bar & Disco.

Tonic Yaoi

Italian Beef

"The Place Where Good Friends Meet"

Was listening to "If Books Could Kill" or "Maintenance Phase" and the hosts played a great game of "Steakhouse or Gay Bar?"

Hilariously difficult.

Dudelove's

A Mick Foley themed bar