Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
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I just chuck'em on a chair or a lounger, works for me (lemmy.today)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (4 children)

If you have to try to be straight, I've got news for you.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I'm so not gay all the dicks I suck cum quick, thus making me suck dick for the shortest amount of time possible.

I aint no queer

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Why do all these gay guys keep trying to suck my dick? I mean I'm definitely not gay as you can tell by my collection of vintage Playboy magazines and my rugged good looks. And it's not like I'm doing anything wrong as I stretch out my calves on the park bench at 11pm while wearing my super short shorts to make running easier. But the next thing I know, some gay guy will start sucking my dick! It's really annoying. I ask them to stop, but they just keep going with those long even strokes while softly caressing my testicles. I even tried bribing one once, but that just emboldened them. I don't know what else to do to make these gay guys stop. It's really starting to interfere with my running schedule.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Wow that sounds super ~~gay~~ inconvenient

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Recent studies show that 1 in 10 men are gay. That really concerns me, because that means that out of the ten guys I've fucked, one of them was probably gay.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

I'm so straight I love other straight men.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I like implication here that being in the closet is not gay.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

Schrödinger’s closet: as long as you’re inside, you’re simultaneously gay and not gay.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Bad news, dude. Those clothes are sitting weird on a chair now. You just made them bisexual instead

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Image Transcription: YouTube Comment

Justin Casar

I'm so straight that I don't even put my clothes in the closet because eventually they will have to come out of the closet and that is gay.