I work at work then at home and literally have no time to do any of that, guess I'm in there too

During weekends I just feel too dead to do anything, especially to approach and be rejected 1000 times before getting a yes from someone that I find out later is a conservative racist with 3 kids from 4 fathers...

Whatever, guess I'll die alone

2me_irl4me_irl amirite

My husband messaged me on OKC with something along the lines of,"hey this is probably just gonna sound crazy but were we stuck in the psych hospital together about a year ago?"

Yes. Yes we were. And I was a little bummed I hadn't gotten his number. That was five years ago and we just celebrated our first wedding anniversary. Fucker is still batshit crazy, but so am I.

This was my approach and a woman did actually magically appear in my life in 2010. It was on a forum. I DMed a person, whose gender I did not know, that I liked their writing and it snowballed from there. She's been my wife for 12 years now.

This is the result of handing dating life off to the capitalist class that uses it to enrich itself. Go to a neighborhood potluck or volunteer somewhere to meet people without prejudice. If it doesn’t land you a date then at least you’ll have fun or do something good.

People don't seem to talk in public as much anymore. If people are at the bus stop, they're on their phone or waiting quietly.

Same at the grocery store. This will sound old as hell but I hate it when the grocery store rearranges the soups. Takes me forever to find what I'm looking for. Sometimes I'll see someone else in front of the soups, looking up and down, looking frustrated. I'll say something like "yeah i hate it when they move the soups too." And I'll usually get a smile or some similar comment back.

I guess what I'm trying to say is don't be afraid to comment about some shared experience you're having with people in public.

Need to get the women who do this too and the men in a room together.

kinda unfortunately yeah.

swipes suck cuz one judges people based on images and text, bars and partys suck because, cold approach feels so weird, and asking the one woman thats already feels somewhat close feels odd

This meme was posted pretty recently.

Dating apps are pretty bad. They're not optimized for your happiness. They want your money. But they can get you dates, and some of those dates can be good. I'm a pretty average guy who doesn't date men, and I could get a few dates a month by writing real messages and honestly engaging with people. Some of them were really good.

But no matter what your strategy is, it's going to have a big "garbage in -> garbage out" factor. I've had friends who half-ass the apps, and then wonder why they don't have good outcomes. I don't mean paying- never pay for this shit. I mean actually reading the profile and, if there's something you can engage with, actually write something. Yeah, it's work, and most of the time it goes into the void. But just looking at it for 20 minutes and writing nothing deeper than "lol" and "hey" is counter productive. It's like going to the gym and just looking at your phone. You're not going to get fit like that. You're just going to feel bad about yourself.

It's fine to be like "i don't have the energy for this" and spend your time doing something else. And it's fine to take it seriously, write good messages, be present, be genuine. But half-assing it is the worst. Half-assing it sucks for you, and everyone you engage with.

This but unironically, I would meet the wrong kind of people through those old-school approaches anyways.

Dating apps are a privacy hellscape. I dread the idea of accidentally making anyone uncomfortable with a cold approach. And my early relationships left me with enough trauma for a while.

Still yearn sometimes, but I'm content with just having friends for now.

I went offgrid in 2020 and haven't dated since. Do not miss it one bit. Life is peaceful in the forest.

This is why I'm switching to people born with wieners.

Just kidding. I'm dying alone

i'm in this picture and i fumbled it

He has pretty eyes and a non boring face. I’d ask him out at the grocery store if he didn’t have a ring.