First, it was a great idea to ask for feedback (here) and to look forward, never give that up.

If your girlfriend really knows you, it's more of a formality than anything. Even when transitioning, you'll stay the same person. You're not about to fundamentally change your personality, mostly just your expression of yourself. I assume she knows you as a soft, non-toxic person and maybe that's exactly what she likes about you.

What makes you think you'll disappoint yourself? Write it down. are you unsure about even being trans for real? Go read Am I Trans. Ate you worried you'd be happier, if you'd be in denial of your gender identity? See below.

Can't say that was the best path, but my first step after the realization of being trans hit me, was to observe how it would feel like to be knowingly in denial for a few weeks. It helped me to (happily) realize, that that option meant misery, that I couldn't go back to hide under a rock. Denial couldn't be better than to risk outing myself. Even if others confront me, I knew there wasn't a better alternative, only worse. Having internalized this, I am a lot less doubtful of myself, I manage to out myself without feeling like I have to excuse myself and be sorry about it. Maybe someone else needs to read this: It's not putting a burden on others, it's lifting a burden off yourself.

Hey, congratulations ♥️ write the date down you saw ISTTVG, you're gonna want to celebrate it in the future!

As the equivalent of the gf in your situation, my wife also came out around that age milestone, and X years later let me tell you that she is the most beautiful woman in the world and I love her so much. I wish for you all the same love right back, and it sounds like you'll get it. Not to say there won't be some tough conversations in there with various loved ones, but I can tell you are brave and won't disappoint yourself simply by being who you are.

Enjoy this euphoria! Do some research on what steps to take sooner than later because some of them will take a long time depending on where you are. Make friends! You are in a queer community and more of us have your back than not.

Good luck girl!

it's a wild time, i felt myself for the first time, when i allowed myself to have 'the thought'. it was so joyous and overwhelming.

take your time. you don't have to tell anyone but the ones you want to know. (i spent almost 1.5 years being out to only 5 ppl + the ppl in the support groups i went to) proceed as fast or slowly as you like. enjoy yourself. :)

plus: support groups are really amazing! ;)

I saw the TV glow is what shook me out of complacency and got me to actually transition.

Take a breath, you have time, you will be okay. If you need practical advice this community can help.

If you havent already, it might be worth taking a look at the gender dysphoria bible. I also really liked the book Am I Trans Enough?, it helped me through the stage you're in now.

Good luck sweetie, you got this. Keep following what makes you happy.

Hey, first of all, I'm glad you're here. That first step is so scary and communities here on Lemmy are so supportive. I was where you are late last year, but pushing 40. It was overwhelming and I was scared, but also hopeful for the first time in a long time. I both was ecstatic and feeling like I was going to barf, lol.

Several people have already recommended The Dysphoria Bible and that was invaluable for me. I've been on E for about 8 months now, out for maybe 4, and while it hasn't fixed all my problems and I know there's lots of hard work ahead, I feel more in touch with who I am and hopeful that there's happiness in my future. Transitioning, and the wonderful support of communities like this one and the many others around the Fediverse, legitimately saved my life.

The most important thing, I think, is to remember you're not alone. It sounds like you have a supportive environment, which is wonderful, and I've found many more allies than I ever expected, both cis and trans, online and off. It's not easy to come out or be trans in today's world, but if you want that, there are a lot of kind and awesome people supporting you. And if it turns out not, they'll support that too, I'll bet.

Take care of yourself, and be kind to yourself, change and introspection is always hard. I highly recommend therapy but I know not everyone has access. If you wanna talk, DM me and I'll be happy to chat. Same goes to anyone else reading this. I'm no expert and still a baby trans myself, but I think it's important we support each other as best we can.

Good luck on your journey, it's a hell of a ride but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Wish the best for you. However it turns out, you're already on the right path toward understanding yourself better, and that's a win in my book.

Congratulations! Welcome! It does sound a little bit like your gf may already have some idea of what you're going through and is trying to be supportive without violating the prime directive, but there's only one way to know for sure.

Sending a virtual hug your way. Good to hear you have a supportive environment at least 😊

i just read the summary of "I Saw The TV Glow" on wikipedia and wow that's a crazy story ... yeah i can see how that can have an impact on someone.

i kind of agree with the premise that our lives can sometimes be more like a tv program and less like real life ... after all, that's how our memory is structured. we think in episodic memory, i.e. life often is like a theater stage where we perform a certain role ... it's self-expression. (ofc the horror aspects of that show are bullshit; idk whether that's a spoiler but being buried alive does not help anyone, i hope that's clear).

anyways, yeah, coming out as transfem can be scary. there's a lot to think about. i recommend to do things systematically, one-by-one, at least that's how i am effective. think about stuff like: "do i want to have children? do i have to go to a doctor to get my sperm frozen?" and then about things like "will my partner accept me?" i recommend in this order because the 1st thing is something that you can actually do things about, while the second thing is something that you cannot know for sure, have no control over, so you can only wait and see.[1]

and then there's a whole lot of social situations to manage. but don't worry, you'll figure it out ;-)

edit:

[1]: by this i obviously meant "think about the things that you can influence first, and only second about things that you can't influence". doesn't have to be these exact things to think about though.