Transfem

mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
Please be kind and respectful to all.
Please tag NSFW topics.
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This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Rainbow Railroad // A non-profit international humans rights organization helping at risk LGBTQ+ people relocate to safety.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

founded 3 years ago

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Terrified of coming out and life in general. (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 days ago by RedAggroBest@lemmy.world to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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Hey y'all, so I'm having a hard time even typing that I've had the crazy epiphany that I'm transfemme? I'm shaking with the anxiety it's inducing just to write that out.

I barely even know where to begin or where I want to go with this. I'm 30, and recently I had some thoughts I'd just labeled as "weird" and tried to shelve away. Funny enough my mental health had hit a new low at such a particularly close timing, wild coincidence I'm sure 🙃 Well yesterday night my lovely girlfriend (who, as I type all of this, I'm becoming more suspicious already knows) decided the next movie on our list HAD to be "I Saw The TV Glow" (not a first watch for her) and holy shit I've never had a movie hold a mirror up to me so plainly as to make me nauseous. I'm normally a huge crier and while it had my partner in crime leaking from the eyes at several points, I was left tearless and feeling like I'd been repeatedly punched in the gut before the ending made me feel sucker punched for the extra effort.

And the fucking movie still made me feel FUCKING HOPEFUL about this is I can just come out.

My family is all the type to support me, so I'm not as scared there (still pretty terrified tho). My biggest fear with all of this is disappointing myself again. I've done a lot of that and I don't know how much of that I can still take.

I don't even know what I want to hear from others right now but I appreciate anything. I'm just hoping writing this post keeps me from getting an ulcer.

Hope I'm not breaking any rules posting something so rant-y.

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[–] gandalf_der_12te@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 days ago*

i just read the summary of "I Saw The TV Glow" on wikipedia and wow that's a crazy story ... yeah i can see how that can have an impact on someone.

i kind of agree with the premise that our lives can sometimes be more like a tv program and less like real life ... after all, that's how our memory is structured. we think in episodic memory, i.e. life often is like a theater stage where we perform a certain role ... it's self-expression. (ofc the horror aspects of that show are bullshit; idk whether that's a spoiler but being buried alive does not help anyone, i hope that's clear).

anyways, yeah, coming out as transfem can be scary. there's a lot to think about. i recommend to do things systematically, one-by-one, at least that's how i am effective. think about stuff like: "do i want to have children? do i have to go to a doctor to get my sperm frozen?" and then about things like "will my partner accept me?" i recommend in this order because the 1st thing is something that you can actually do things about, while the second thing is something that you cannot know for sure, have no control over, so you can only wait and see.[1]

and then there's a whole lot of social situations to manage. but don't worry, you'll figure it out ;-)

edit:

[1]: by this i obviously meant "think about the things that you can influence first, and only second about things that you can't influence". doesn't have to be these exact things to think about though.

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