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[–] 6 points 19 hours ago

Vagina dentata!

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  • [–] 4 points 19 hours ago

    tags: unbirth

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  • [–] 33 points 1 day ago (2 children)

    Inquiring minds want to know, how was tunneling through the goddess's kooch supposed to make mankind immortal?

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  • [–] 146 points 2 days ago (10 children)

    Apparently knowledge of anatomy was not a part of Polynesian mythology. Even without the teeth, what way out exactly did he plan to take?

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  • [–] 62 points 2 days ago (3 children)

    Outside my window is a mountain. Everyone knows it as Koko Crater. But it's actual name is Kohelepelepe which is the Hawaiian name for the labia minor. The story is that a goddess, attempting to rescue another goddess named Pele, throws her vagina all the way from Hawai'i island to O'ahu and it lands in this spot.

    I think about this nearly every day (because of the mountain outside my window).

    Here's two links related to the story: Wikipedia and a more local essay.

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  • [–] 27 points 2 days ago (2 children)

    So.. Hawaiian mythology is mostly about vaginas? 🤔

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  • [–] 35 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    I firmly believe that you can judge a civilization by whether their creation myths, folklore figures, and proto-deities are all on team phallus or team vulva.

    Most of the "good" ones by classical to modern standards; team vulva.

    I will neither elaborate nor go dig up references because that's work and then a reader might be denied looking up ancient stone penises and vaginas for an afternoon, and that would be tragic.

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  • [–] 64 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    To be fair, nobody said that goddess anatomy is at all the same as human anatomy.

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  • [–] 21 points 2 days ago (2 children)

    Technically the vagina is open to the inside of the body via the end of the fallopian tubes. But then once lose in the abdomen i don't see a route to the mouth

    https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/24346-fimbriae

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  • [–] 23 points 2 days ago (2 children)

    Also how big is said goddess? Maybe the imagery was supposed to be similar to Maui being like water. The path isn't direct from mouth to eurethera, but maybe he can be absorbed through barriers as well.

    Also... Why did we skip over how that would make humans immortal?

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  • [–] 25 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    Also... Why did we skip over how that would make humans immortal?

    Well if we knew that we'd be immortal of course!

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  • [–] 12 points 2 days ago

    He was banking on gingivitis vaginalis, which would let him slip into the blood stream and be carried to the lungs. Once in the lungs, right before leaving for the left atrium (where the blood-pressure is the lowest) he planned on making a small incision into the lung. From here it was just a matter of crawling up.

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    [–] 43 points 2 days ago

    So, Moana 3 is at least half written. I like the new direction they’re taking it.

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  • [–] 55 points 2 days ago (5 children)

    Okayokay, neverminding the teeth and the SA of it all.... why would that make mankind immortal?

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    [–] 46 points 2 days ago

    Please, everyone knows the vagina immortality spell. In the vagina, out the mouth, mind the teeth. It’s all there in the nursery rhyme.

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    [–] 21 points 1 day ago
    [–] 34 points 2 days ago (2 children)

    For the record: This seems to be a specific story from to Māori/Aotearoa branch of Māui Mythology. Not the Hawaiian branch. At least as far as a quick wikipedia search can tell.

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    [–] 26 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    Ah, the classic vagina dentata trap. Always practice safer sex and check for teeth first, guys!

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  • [–] 16 points 2 days ago (5 children)

    Hawaiian Folklore is so fricking metal!

    Just look up Tūtū Pele :)

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    [+] 17 points 2 days ago
    [–] 18 points 2 days ago

    Honestly it could happen to anyone

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  • [–] 14 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    This is why I never use condoms, cause the teeth would just tear the condom anyway

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  • [–] 12 points 2 days ago

    you see, death by snu snu has a rich and colorful history behind it...

    in this essay I wi-

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  • [–] 4 points 1 day ago

    You're welcome?

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  • [–] 4 points 1 day ago
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