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I want to go out Hawaiian style (thelemmy.club)
submitted 2 days ago by to c/microblogmemes@lemmy.world
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[–] 146 points 2 days ago (10 children)

Apparently knowledge of anatomy was not a part of Polynesian mythology. Even without the teeth, what way out exactly did he plan to take?

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  • [–] 62 points 2 days ago (2 children)

    Outside my window is a mountain. Everyone knows it as Koko Crater. But it's actual name is Kohelepelepe which is the Hawaiian name for the labia minor. The story is that a goddess, attempting to rescue another goddess named Pele, throws her vagina all the way from Hawai'i island to O'ahu and it lands in this spot.

    I think about this nearly every day (because of the mountain outside my window).

    Here's two links related to the story: Wikipedia and a more local essay.

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  • [–] 27 points 2 days ago (2 children)

    So.. Hawaiian mythology is mostly about vaginas? 🤔

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  • [–] 35 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    I firmly believe that you can judge a civilization by whether their creation myths, folklore figures, and proto-deities are all on team phallus or team vulva.

    Most of the "good" ones by classical to modern standards; team vulva.

    I will neither elaborate nor go dig up references because that's work and then a reader might be denied looking up ancient stone penises and vaginas for an afternoon, and that would be tragic.

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  • [–] 14 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    The norse creation myth involves frost-giants sucking the teats of a cow.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 day ago (1 child)

    That's awesome and wild.

    Also, are you native Hawaiian? Else how is living on Oahu? We have dreamed of it in the past, sounds delightful in many ways!

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  • [–] 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

    lmao the natives don’t live on the islands where that dude does

    that’s a rich white dude, or maybe asian but probably white

    edit lol at the downvotes for the truth

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  • [–] 64 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    To be fair, nobody said that goddess anatomy is at all the same as human anatomy.

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  • [–] 82 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    She at least has obsidian teeth in her vagina, like most people.

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  • [–] 21 points 2 days ago (2 children)

    Technically the vagina is open to the inside of the body via the end of the fallopian tubes. But then once lose in the abdomen i don't see a route to the mouth

    https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/24346-fimbriae

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  • [–] 23 points 2 days ago (2 children)

    Also how big is said goddess? Maybe the imagery was supposed to be similar to Maui being like water. The path isn't direct from mouth to eurethera, but maybe he can be absorbed through barriers as well.

    Also... Why did we skip over how that would make humans immortal?

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  • [–] 25 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    Also... Why did we skip over how that would make humans immortal?

    Well if we knew that we'd be immortal of course!

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  • [–] 10 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    Birth and the associated death come from going vagina -> world.

    Clearly, if you go: world -> vagina, but the vagina belongs to the conceptual font of birthing life, and you exit it through where said concept eats from, you link birth with eternal feasting.

    Duh.

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  • [–] 12 points 2 days ago

    He was banking on gingivitis vaginalis, which would let him slip into the blood stream and be carried to the lungs. Once in the lungs, right before leaving for the left atrium (where the blood-pressure is the lowest) he planned on making a small incision into the lung. From here it was just a matter of crawling up.

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