I specify men's restroom since there are alternatives to peeing which don't involve a toilet seat.

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[–] 33 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I don't want to touch it either, but if you're going to stand in front of a public toilet, just lift the damn seat.

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    [–] 30 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

    I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane 
    While people behind me are going insane

    I'm an asshole !

    I use public toilets, and I piss on the seat 
    I walk around in the Summer time, saying, "How about this heat?"

    I'm an asshole !

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  • [–] 7 points 2 weeks ago* (1 child)

    Try to find the stand-up show ‘no cure for cancer’ this song is in it and the rest is insanely good,

    I want a restaurant only for men, naked men all sitting round a camp fire eating meat, straight off the cow. In fact bring me the whole cow, I’ll carve off what I want and ride the rest home!

    Or something like that.

    That and therapy,

    I’ll give you therapy, therapy is mowing the lawn and crying Edit; Found it No cure for cancer

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  • [–] 2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

    I use public toilets, and I piss on the seat
    [ ... ]
    I'm an asshole !

    No, you're a dick. An asshole would shit on the toilet seat...

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    [–] 22 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

    I think you’ve got two types of people doing this:

    • penis people who just plain can not be bothered to lift the seat. The types of folks who bumble through life haphazardly, don’t wear seat belts, let dishes pile up, put the sour cream back in the fridge without putting the lid back on, who never bother to wash their feet or legs in the shower because they think the soap that washes down their body will handle it, people who drink the last of the coffee without making another pot. Selfish, but also kinda physically grody.
    • vagina people who hover. These people I do not understand.
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  • [–] 9 points 2 weeks ago

    For a second I thought you'd come up with a new epithet for people who don't hold up their end of the social contract: penis people. I thought, "that's a new and fun way to call someone a dick." 🤔

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    [–] 14 points 2 weeks ago*

    Not mildly.

    Majorly.

    I had part of my digestive tract removed. I can't afford an accident at the urinal.

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  • [–] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 child)

    It's fucking gross.

    I always wipe down every seat with enough toilet paper I feel like I'm not going to directly touch any pee. It's just an ingrained habit from decades of living with people who like their toilet seats cold, moist, and yellow.

    Tap for NSFWMy least favourite is when it seems like they didn't even pull back the foreskin or something, and just completely cover the entire toilet, seat, and floor, with a fine spray of urine. Lovely. I wipe down everything with like 20 squares of tp and then wash my hands before even doing my business.

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  • [–] 10 points 2 weeks ago* (3 children)

    There is this thing called lifting up the seat. DO IT!

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  • [–] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 child)

    We had this problem in a communal bathroom in a dorm I lived in. People were practically coming to blows over it. Turns out that when the toilet flushed, it would spray piss up out of the bowl onto the seat. We all thought it was someone else, but it was really every one of us inadvertently.

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  • [–] 9 points 2 weeks ago* (1 child)

    How about when there's that bit of filth at the back, center you know came from their ass crack?

    It's even worse when you know who it is, because now it's like you have x-ray vision to their ass crack.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 weeks ago

    This is why I piss into the sink instead. And since I didn't have to touch any surfaces beside my own wiener, I don't even have to worry about washing my hands.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 weeks ago

    I work at a place with a lot of people from southeast Asia. It is not uncommon to be in a stall and look over to see the feet of someone stepping into the next stall just disappear as they approach the crapper.

    I don't mind them standing on the seat to squat, but for the love of humanity, please clean up the fucken mess afterwards!

    Also, our toilets flush pretty assertively and often they will splash up dirty water from the toilet bowl onto the seat and floor as the auto-flush unleashes.

    The weird one is the guy who uses it as a fucken bidet... like, Bruh. Nasty.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 weeks ago* (3 children)

    I usually sit to pee; but since there's piss on the seat, I stand and end up contributing more piss to the already pissy seat. It's a vicious cycle of piss.

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  • [–] 10 points 2 weeks ago (9 children)

    Just lift the fuckin seat to pee then omg

    Use your foot for that if you have to

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    [–] 4 points 2 weeks ago*

    Dont look up the Yellow Pee Pee Monster.

    Sorry in advance. lf I have to be aware he existed, you do too

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  • [–] 4 points 2 weeks ago*

    The restrooms at my workplace can get down right nasty. We get a ton of temp workers (I started out as a temp), and they are given very short breaks from the assembly line. At least 20% do not wash their hands. People carry on phone conversations and scroll TikTok in the stalls. The seats, after their breaks, are usually pretty gross. The floors around the toilets get very gross by the end of their shift.

    I loathe that spironolactone makes me thirsty, and in turn makes me need to urinate somewhat often. My hovering game is on point though.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 weeks ago

    or shit on the toilet seat, or the walls.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 weeks ago

    I don't care about others why should I care when I'll never have to clean or use that toilet again. /s

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  • [–] 3 points 2 weeks ago

    I avoid public bathrooms for this reason

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  • [–] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 child)

    For using the stalls to pee sometimes the urinals are full. As to why I know my wife says im one of the few men who don't leave piss on the toilet. So apparently its common. Not talking just the seat here but the bowl when the seat is up. Like the bowl rim that is parralellel to the floor so it will just sit there and be all. ewwww.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 weeks ago

    For them what have need to cope with this and no choice about needing to sit.

    A small baggie with some surface wipes and some gloves will fit in most pockets with ease. Ideal, no. But it'll get you by for a non optional visit to a public (or badly kept private) toilet

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