peed pants

An XL Chance dildo from Bad Dragon.

It's a unique weapon that gives a +5 bonus to strength and willpower.

• 90% Empty beer can
• 100% An SFP+ module (most likely for multimode fiber)
• 80% prioritypass card that'll give you free entry to a nice airport lounge on the opposite side of the planet
• 20% a wedge of blue cheese
• 100% a guitar pick

If at work (roll 1d10 4 times)
Wire strippers
11-in-1 screwdriver
Impact driver with 1 of Philips, Square, or 5/16" socket bits in it. 5ah battery
3d12 wirenuts
5d12 selftapping or wood screws
2d12 one hole straps (not the size you need)
Torpedo level (magnetic)
Cigarettes (cheap, 2d10 left in pack)
Vape pen (not nicotine)
Keys

If at home (lair) I just give up, roll for treasure as Villager. Tools are in the van outside.

Debt

A painting that's not worth selling, and a fully functioning sourdough starter.

A dead body.

A scroll that, when read, let's you see everything as interconnected systems. This new ability is both wonderfully useful and paralyzingly overwhelming.

(Edit: banger question, BTW! Don't forget to upvote it, people)

Diseased meat.

Ennui.

• 1987 Washburn Force ABT bass guitar autographed by Nuno Bettencourt (ultra rare item)
• RFID badge to get into almost any lab in the game
• Ibuprofen 2-pack like what you get in workplace first aid kits
• Key fob to an unknown vehicle
• Friendly cat (uncommon item)
• Unlocked burner phone filled with memes and phone numbers for persons of ill repute (important for one specific side quest)
• Frog
• Can of Chef Boyardee beef ravioli

100% lighter 100% keffiyah 60% joint 25% cup of coffee 0.1% 1/2 litre of home made ice-cream

A single rib and nothing else.

For some reason an Nvidia RTX 5090 and 128gb of DDR5 RAM, because whoever designed this game decided it'd be funny to put a target on my back.

400g of firm tofu and a 5m XLR cable.

Probably a few petabytes of DDR5…

Anxiety and depression.

50% chance: 20 year old Victorinox multitool

25% chance: bunch of yubikeys

10% chance: 1d6 amphetamines 10mg

100% chance: human corpse

10% chance: somehow another human corpse

An LCD sound system CD.

The collected works of Jrrr Tolkien

A collection of keys you don't remember having, or what they're for

A lingering sense of dread over whether you fed the cats

Garbage worth nothing and not worth the effort to have gotten it

A well worn hoodie and pack of peanut butter crackers

A +1 soccer jersey of constitution. Gives you a bonus to rolls on saves against intoxication.

2 dead alkaline AA batteries and a plastic tooth pick.

a warm 40oz colt 45 and a couple joints (zig zags)

Three pairs of glasses with different strengths.

medium ammo pack

Nothing but disappointment.

Bleed reduction pills, painkillers, and mediocre quality non-armor clothing that gives you a feeling of comfort.

A ring of animal friendship that gives +10 to all skills related to animals, and -1 to all skills related to humans.

And a curse upon looting that cannot be dispelled that causes the cursed to always speak bluntly, to the point, with no deception, and to be frequently misunderstood as a result.

Sandals

A collection of Edgar Allen Poe short stories book

Phone (broken)

Cigarettes

2 coins

Bones

Major Depression (Legendary) Binds on Pick-up

• Insulin
• Sourdough Starter
• An SSH private key that might come in handy later

My ebook reader would be the only valuable item. Everything else is grey loot at best imo.

set of hex keys and potion that gives you caffeine overdose. 10% chance of notebook with cursed knowledge

Despite being only in shorts and a tshirt with only a couple dollars in my wallet, somehow I drop a full chest plate

RAM and cornchip dust.

A vegetable cleaver and the ability to convince anyone of an idea at anytime but it is only self targeting and the effect is to convince yourself that you fucked up.

An ungodly amount of pens and dice

Some random driver for weird screw types.

An assortment of tiny bolts/screws

A cock meat sandwich.

The Red Vape of Wisdom and Chill (legendary item)

A utility knife and an empty pack of Zyns, 0.05% drop rate for a guitar pick(Legendary, bespoke.).

1 X scroll of insight (cursed). You detect enemies at much greater distances than normal, but there's a 50% chance they aren't really there.

1 X scroll of night vision +2 (I always have a thermal camera on my person)

1 X tome of deep knowing (films and movies). Extremely detailed and useless for any purpose

1 X potion of quench thirst (I am never without a water bottle)

The rest is grey loot, useless LVL 1 weapons