I've been using Mint for ten years because I like the features that make it a newbie distro - the Cinnamon desktop has all the important things in the same places Windows does and it integrates new features six months after they're released, to give them time for testing and bugfixing before use.
Seems like a pretty good guiding principle, unless you're the kind of self-serving muppet who skims philosophy texts to find reasons why it's ethically okay to behave like a selfish dick.
The Death Star is a weapon you can live in. It's an important consideration.
Maybe I don't want it faster and cleaner...
Then I choose the pistol (given the name Rimpoche by an AI Bhudda) from Redrobe by Jon Courtenay Grimwood. It provides target identification, auto-aim and sarcasm.
One of the Lazy Guns from Against A Dark Background by Iain M. Banks. Point at target. Pull trigger. Target is destroyed in some ridiculous way, like having a piano fall on it.
But don't point it at the sun. It doesn't like that.
I'll take some garlic knots, thanks. Next time's on me.
Especially if they use it to ask for steak well done.
Just lately - one fried egg, salt, nothing else. It's basic, but it's what I'm enjoying.
What am I going to see if I click that link?
Alphonse Bentley McChicken.
This is fun.