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Undercover Cops of Hexbear, What's Your Biggest Tell?
(hexbear.net)
Using phrases from 10 years ago.
Holding my non tactical vests like
Fuck I do this shit LOL
I constantly ask if anyone is able to sell me "hard core drugs."
I always back my Dodge Charger into parking spots and when the police tell me to keep moving along at the crime scene I say "you got it, chief"
Okay so this is very important thing we need to do, unfortunately I can't make it to the thing... I must do something very important, you and everyone else go do the thing.
We'll re-group after 
I don't actually have a third, blocky, plastic titty. it's actually a wire and it's extremely noticeable
Damn, I thought for sure I'd finally found the blocky third tittied person of my dreams 🥲
Body positivity is doing a lot of good work for cops who have this issue, keep it up!
Why is your chest whirring and clicking?
weird birth mark. hey can you say your full legal name again for me?
I have a hard time doing any work because I'm on the phone yelling at my wife about how i do overtime to PROVIDE FOR THIS FAMILY SHARON
i forget my bodycam is on and talk about crimes we do with other cops
If i were a cop, i would totally do this all the time by accident.
I turn my head to look when someone says "hey officer"
What do you mean, I bring my skateboard, backwards yankee cap, clean jeans/cargo shorts, athletic wrist watch, bulky shirt and color of the day armband to every protest. Also my posture is just naturally upright. I'm just another fellow agitator like you!
I can't help but to wear the biggest, ugliest sunglasses you can buy
You can make people more comfortable by looming over them while you talk and keeping you thumbs under your belt with the rest of your hands on the outside.
Suspiciously donut shaped
hey, I'm your buddy you can trust me. Remember when I got you [illicit item]? I think we should use [illicit item] during [upcoming demonstration]. Whadsaya say
I say "I have to tell you I'm a cop"
Part of The Code
My shoes aren't scuffed enuf :/
Shoes tell the tale
Those are NOT two weirdly clunky donuts in my back pocket, even if it kind of looks like that.
Cops eat donuts. Big tell
haha, you almost got me~!
Nice one, officer, almost blew your cover there
If you ask me to snort a phat line of cocaine I'm not allowed to do that.
Cause its not from the evidence locker
No read good.
I dress like an old west sheriff with a pocket watch and everything.
If you were infiltrating a steam punk cell youd blend right in. Worst assignment ever tho
If you were infiltrating a steam punk cell
Am I not though?
pulling a giant break lever that stops an intricate system of gears and brass pipes which powers the hexbear sever
Nawwwww, nothing like that
My uniform is clearly visible underneath my clothes
this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2026
66 points (100.0% liked)
askchapo
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