I was hoping for fuck the ... at the end.

Kind of disappointed.

Informative!

I really think it's a personal thing for your happiness right? You seem happy to carry her memory and knowing that's exactly what matters to you. If others need someone around, or that you can share the future moments with, then you aren't lying about it being "forever" if you continue living life, life changes lots of things. Sharing that love with someone is huge, but they also wanted to be with you for it. They can't be, so if someone finds someone else and they want to walk through life together I'd like to think someone can find that.

Some are happy with the memory, and their values hold that they would never involve another. But others know that they needed each other to get through the good and the bad, and that person isn't here anymore. They'll never be the same as the person who is gone, but it doesn't mean having them in your life is a "failure" or "betrayal"

First of all, I am very sorry about your wife, I really know what it feels like to lose someone to cancer since I also lost my father to cancer, when I was 11 years old. I wish you strength and health.

I think having as intimate and strong a bond as you can with just one other person who returns that in full is one of the most valuable things a person can have in life.

Now to this, I'm not saying that psychological bonds or intimacy are not important or bad. What I really mean is that people demonize another equally important and good form of intimacy, physical and sexual, and for younger people, experimentation without commitments before a more serious relationship, which even correlates with a greater likelihood of being satisfied in future serious relationships (monogamous or polygamous), and less likelihood of cheating. Although polygamous AND open relationships, I think they are the best, even if on the other hand they are more difficult to have and maintain, because there is evidence that points to the fact that people are less likely to feel dissatisfied with a relationship if they can still experiment with other people.

It feels so wrong to both her and anyone I would move on to and such a betrayal of my own personal values that it's unthinkable to me on the level of cannibalism. When people expect me to move on my revulsion is what I expect it would be if there was a dead person laying there and those people expected me to start eating them.

This is clearly a false equivalency fallacy. You can't compare those things. I don't think that getting another couple is something bad or makes everything you promised to her false. You may not like to do that, and that's totally respectable, but criminalizing or dehumanizing it is way too much. I think that's part of letting go, and I'm not trying to minimize your feelings nor the feelings of people that's living something similar, but telling that it's a form of self-care and self-healing.

So their post "Cueta, Spain right now" was deleted and they were banned for it being racist. I tried to search for whatever the image was in case they'd reposted with an existing title and didn't find anything... other than learning apparently the situation in Ceuta is completely insane.

I hadn't heard that news. I had no idea Spain controlled that tiny bit of land at the tip Africa beside Morocco.

But much as the situation is awful and doesn't seem like a super tasteful topic for a shit post, without seeing whatever it was I can't see how it could be racist. Looking in to Ceuta you can see it has a crazy history, it's been part of Spain for like 400 years, and the inhabitants are a mix of people from many places over time, with the bulk of them being much closer to Morrocan than Spanish.

The whole situation is shit, but I don't see how you could term the folk from one side of a border crossing en masse and loads of violence and death as "racist."

Racism is bad. Not trying to defend it or anything. But unless my settings are wrong OP has 5 posts in the top 30 of the last day in all of LemmyLand. He's half of the top 10 in the last day on this relatively active sub. Sort of sucks to see how slow Lemmy really moves, but that makes it even more weird for one of the people making posts with the most interaction on the platform for a given day to be banned a week. I'm really curious to see that deleted post now.

7 separate posts to the community within an hour of each other

nah that's fine. we need content anyways.

Is there rep farming on lemmy?

I thought that Karma or total up/down vote accounts are not a thing here?