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submitted 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) by Civility@hexbear.net to c/news@hexbear.net
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[-] SirSmoothAES@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 8 hours ago

His sacked tits prove that not even billionaires can beat father time.

[-] Keld@hexbear.net 1 points 1 hour ago

He absolutely doesnt have saggy breasts what are you talking about.

[-] SirSmoothAES@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 1 hour ago

Ah yes, saggy. That's the word I was looking for. Maybe it's the angle, but they do look kind of droopy to me.

[-] Keld@hexbear.net 1 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

He doesnt have notable gynecomastia, his pectorals look fine and he has quite low body fat. I genuinely don't have any clue what you're talking about.

[-] SirSmoothAES@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 1 hour ago

Oh and his sixpack looks rather deformed as well. It's not just his tits.

[-] Keld@hexbear.net 1 points 1 hour ago

Havong an asymmetric rectum abdominis is perfectly normal?????

[-] SirSmoothAES@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 52 minutes ago

What even is a dominoes rectum? Is that like a fruit or something? Well, whatever it is I don't believe it.

[-] Dyno@hexbear.net 9 points 8 hours ago

Whenever biohackers come up in the news, I'm reminded of Aaron Traywick - one of those life extension berks who injected himself with mystery fluids. I saw him on the news once and thought "he'll probably be dead soon."
Within a year he ended up K-holing to death in a sensory deprivation tank

[-] axont@hexbear.net 73 points 13 hours ago

My favorite part about this guy is it's perfectly believable he's simply a particularly fit 48 year old. Yeah dude you figured out a healthy diet and an exercise routine will make you feel and look better. But no that's not enough, you have to make your son into a blood bag and say you've developed immortality pills.

I hate all billionaires on principle but this guy is my least favorite type. It's not enough that he has every luxury planet Earth can possibly provide. He has to be worshipped as a god too. Just start a cult, man.

[-] LaughingLion@hexbear.net 19 points 10 hours ago

He reminds me of those daoist dudes in ancient China who were like, "I'm immortal" and then they die and their adherents are like, "Bro didn't lie he just transcended his physical form."

[-] Nacarbac@hexbear.net 9 points 9 hours ago

Health secrets they don't want billionaires to know: drink more mercury.

All-natural cinnabar provides 10000000000% of the mercury you need to ascend to the Lunar Palace on the back of a moonbeam.

[-] jackmaoist@hexbear.net 28 points 11 hours ago

My favorite thing about this guy is that he came to India, talked about the air quality and actually highlighted the issue particularly well while people were living in denial and then just fucked off.

[-] SocialistVibes01@lemmy.ml 7 points 10 hours ago

Bezos is as, maybe more, fucked up as him but that's not on mass media.

[-] RondoRevolution@hexbear.net 6 points 8 hours ago
[-] HandsHeartEyes@hexbear.net 55 points 13 hours ago

His money would literally have been better spent doing general health research, which might have made progress towards a cure to his illness. But he blew it all on random bullshit targeted at himself. When he dies, it's going to be a real-life parable.

[-] Carl@hexbear.net 23 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

pay for double blind studies on the effectiveness of blood boiling

geordi-no

boil your own blood along with a hundred other totally vibes based things and call it research

geordi-yes

[-] average@hexbear.net 40 points 12 hours ago

Instead of investing in real medicine he's spent his time and money doing adrenochrome enemas or whatever the fuck...

[-] Muehe@lemmy.ml 48 points 11 hours ago
[-] D61@hexbear.net 19 points 12 hours ago

As sung by, Moonwalker, in their song "Monopoly Money", "... and you die like the rest of us..."

[-] XiaCobolt@hexbear.net 46 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Bryan Johnson has tummy issues as well?Come on at this point just transition. He's already taking estrogen. This is stolen valour.

[-] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 47 points 14 hours ago

Women do live longer than men. If he was serious about prolonging his lifespan he would transition

[-] SerialExperimentsGay@hexbear.net 36 points 15 hours ago

ofc the top comments include a grifter promising a cure through "emerging science" and one of his cultists hoping their hero somehow finds a cure for both AIG and Crohn's.

[-] MattEagle@hexbear.net 12 points 10 hours ago

CAR-T cell therapies are emerging for autoimmune diseases, which sometimes lead to permanent remissions. It won't be any of his stupid research that moves that field forward though 🤭

[-] Sphere@hexbear.net 22 points 12 hours ago

We already figured out the cure for AIG: upwards of $100 billion in float provided by the US Treasury

[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 61 points 17 hours ago

So things haven't been going well then.

[-] average@hexbear.net 37 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

mild... permanent lung damage... mild... lost lung capacity... mild... MILD... MILD

screm3

[-] Formerlyfarman@hexbear.net 11 points 9 hours ago

even asimptomatic covid cases can cause severe damage to various organs.

[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 9 points 8 hours ago

Typically the brain, plus damage to the immune system! 🥳

[-] average@hexbear.net 6 points 7 hours ago

Yup! The brain fog and increased bouts of illness that so many people talk about can be directly tied to COVID infections.

Dead horse: most people really think that just cuz they made it back to brunch, everything is okay.

[-] average@hexbear.net 5 points 7 hours ago

100%

It can even trigger latent disorders that otherwise may not have manifested. My partner is dealing with 2 autoimmune disorders that progressed as a direct result of their COVID infection.

[-] tocopherol@hexbear.net 15 points 11 hours ago

"Your son was in a minor car accident, a small piece of metal did pierce his brain and he's now in a coma but the car accident was actually mild."

[-] average@hexbear.net 14 points 11 hours ago

Mild coma, nothing to worry about.

[-] jack@hexbear.net 13 points 11 hours ago

I had a minor loss of my leg

[-] ksynwa@lemmygrad.ml 39 points 16 hours ago

He should try eating his son maybe that will fix it

[-] Awoo@hexbear.net 46 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

I don't like hearing about things like this because I hyper analyse whether my occasionally crippling IBS might actually be something horrible.

Anyway if this dude turns from immortality towards seeking a cure for something more tangible that seems like a good thing to me. Either he fails and it kills him or he succeeds and 5% of people's lives improve.

[-] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 22 points 11 hours ago

If he cures our ibs then I'll give him little a blood as a treat

[-] sovietknuckles@hexbear.net 25 points 16 hours ago

reddit-logo asking an important question on the billionaire's post about it

should i stop blueprint supplements then?

[-] average@hexbear.net 11 points 12 hours ago

Nope! everyone should definitely keep overpaying for multivitamins... In fact, given Bryan's most recent diagnosis, I think he is recommending switching to the suppository version.

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[-] cheers_queers@lemmy.zip 66 points 19 hours ago

is this the one who gets blood infusions from his son?

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this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2026
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