Pretty sure the P90 is the equivalent for Stargate.
this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2023
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*gestures to Ma'Tok staff weapon*
This is a weapon of terror. It's made to intimidate the enemy.
*gestures to P90*
This is a weapon of war. It's made to kill your enemy.
Most brilliant moment in all of science fiction. Actual demonstration of an actual weapon mixed with meta commentary on science fiction weapons in general and how villains can't ever seem to shoot straight.
I don't know if I would say "in general", but definitely in the Stargate universe.
It doesn't make that much sense for Star Wars, but then the universe doesn't really explain a lot why, just that things are the way they are.
Star Trek seems to deploy handheld energy weapons because they provide a greater range of responses, from less than lethal to able to take out armored opponents with a single weapon.
If you've mastered storing energy densely, energy weapons are just way better than ballistic ones. You get way more "ammo" out of the them and more flexibility as you say.
Stargate just had intentionally stupid energy weapon usage. The staffs were just bad overall, including in melee. A gun you aim by swnging it on top of your shoulder, that fires incredibly slowly and inaccurately that barely has as much punch as a 5.56 round? That you also use as an incredibly top heavy and slow bo staff? What are you idiots doing?
Meanwhile they have Zats, which are amazing, and barely use them. Rapid fire wide projective pistol grip guns that you can duel wield that instantly down your enemy in one hit, regardless of where you hit them? You have these shits on hand but all you motherfuckers are running around with cumbersome staffs?
Why Stargate command never made a zat rifle is beyond me. A P90 stock with unlimited ammo that was by default non lethal? Why the fuck are you not doing that?
I look at it like the Gou'auld has levels to their militaries, with the bulk of them being geared towards internal security. If these troops flipped, the Gou'auld could later deploy better military to take out the initial troops.
It also helped that any tactics that rebels used successfully against the first set of forces would likely fall apart against the reserve set.
See, I dont buy it. You dont see these troops ever. You do see the Gou'auld with the bog standard Jaffa always at their side, even as their personal entourage. If they had "shock troops" or star wars style "red guards" they would have shown them in the series.
The closest is the super assassins that are occasionally invisible, but they mainly just use a knife, and are never defensive.
I think after thousands of years of just Jaffa vs Jaffa, a race of being with healing powers, their warrior culture got very ritualized and stagnate. The staff weapon is considered thr "honorable" weapon, even though its immensely stupid.
The very minute an outsider comes in with a dumb ballistic gun that shoots 900 rounds/minute, suddenly entire Jaffa squadrons of 100yr+ old warriors are getting mowed down like saturdays grass by a 4 man team consistently of 2 warriors, a warrior scientist and am archiologist that carries a 9mm.
When 9mm linguist man is whooping warriors with a centuries experience emass, yall fucked up.
You dont see these troops ever. You do see the Gou’auld with the bog standard Jaffa always at their side, even as their personal entourage. If they had “shock troops” or star wars style “red guards” they would have shown them in the series.
Serpent guards are the elite of apophis. Other goa'uld have similar elite forces that guard the goa'uld. The First Prime is the foremost jaffa in the goa'uld's personal guard.
Nevermind the US Military having magazines that fire red-laser stun rounds. We see them abundantly in one episode, and then I assume the writers agreed to pretend we didn't.
The Federation also has deliberately unwieldy weapons, to discourage solving problems through violence. The redesigned phasers for the 1990s were so awkward that actors in combat-heavy episodes complained. That's why late-90s Trek introduced rifles.
Or how the Asgardians kind of look down on human tech as primitive and yet have to bring in humans for help because they solve problems.
Like having a weapon to kill Replicators that accelerate a metal chunk with a chemical explosion.
you know i like to compare this to how we view the bow and arrow compared to guns
yeah the bow is primitive but it also doesn't shred your eardrums and arrows can usually be fired again, which makes it actually pretty good for hunting even to this day!
And also, a railgun is just a bow with extra spicy string.
well, crossbow i'd say but a crossbow is just an improved bow so it evens out
I love that scene so much
Yeah, C4 is not exactly a ranged weapon unless it’s paired with an impact detonator and flung via trebuchet.
Then we just strap naquadah on the C4 and blow the whole continent up. There you have your range.
"Yeah, C4 is not exactly a ranged weapon"
Not with that attitude it isn't.
Its like he's never even kissed semtex
And lightsabres are?
Don’t Jedi throw them all the time? Like doing spinning out boomerang moves or is that just the games?
Yeah it happens, but the bright light from the blade makes it clearly visible meaning that in a real battle your enemy would see where you are and kill you before your boomerang would come back to you
If you're returning blaster bolts.
A Jedi vs. a random Tau'ri with a P90 would hardly be a fair match. The Jedi wouldn't know what hit him.
Slugthrowers are a viable weapon against jedi, old canon at least.
I've had Star Wars fans argue vigorously that a Jedi could deflect a cloud of buckshot with a lightsabre. I'm a Star Wars fan myself but that's a sure sign of someone who's gone completely off the deep end. It's a very basic question of simple geometry - you can't intercept every pellet in a three-dimensional cloud with a two-dimensional rod regardless of how fast your precognitive reflexes are.
I’d sooner accept stopping all the pellets using the force, like Neo did in the second Matrix movie.
it's not even two dimensional, it's one dimensional!
Ah, brain fart, indeed.
Claymores certainly have range.
Meanwhile true SG fans cry in P90s
I mean, zats were so stupid they were practically written out of the show.
The 1, 2, 3 special was used in maybe one episode to "hide" some bodies, then conveniently forgotten in all future episodes.
3 shots disintegrates didn't really make sense with a weapon that basically just fucked your nervous system up.
Zats were used a ton. It was the disintegration mode that was softlocked.
Even Jaffa sticks looked better than the "random plumbing supply" weapons.
Those Dalek space plungers had hella better energy beams than jaffa sticks. When that shit hit you, you died.
Jaffa stick hit? Standard paramedics gear and youre good to go.
Originally it only paralyzed you. It would seem the Dalek weapon has a range of settings like a Star Trek phaser does
Erhm ACHSHUALLEE the energy beams came out of the Whisk, not the plunger.
Just a heads up, that's the tenth doctor represented in your meme, but the 11th doctors sonic screwdriver. Oh boy wouldn't that be embarrassing, hope somebody got fired for that blunder.
Zat’nik’tel
Stun. Kill. Disintegrate. In that order every single time.
Star
Gate
Use two.