I hire people where I work. Nothing fancy, just pest control, but I don't give a fuck. If you're licensed and seem decent as a human I'll give it a go. Worst case scenario is you suck, in which case you're fired pretty quickly on your own merit and I hire someone else. There are so many smaller companies out there in nearly every industry and they're ran by normal people with normal fucked up lives like most of us.

I've been fortunate to end up where I am and what I do but all my employees have fierce loyalty to me simply for being normal and treating them like maybe they're normal too and I hate seeing things like this because even these big corporate jobs are still being ran by people going home and having normal human problems. I don't understand why so many jobs have entry barriers that exclude shit like, "shit happens, sorry for being poor?"

Hope that makes sense. I'm rambling but I also had a shitty day with work and came home and drank. So fuck judgement.

My answers to "Would you explain this gap in your resume?":

1. Relevancy: "I only included relevant experience on the copy of my resume that you received." Hiking experience isn't relevant. Couch experience isn't relevant. Time spent as the forgotten pawn in the machinations of capitalism isn't relevant.
2. Privacy: "I am not required to disclose medical information, and will not be discussing this matter any further."
3. Fuck 'em: "No."

"I'm sorry, I can't talk about that. I signed an NDA."

You can even create your own NDA to sign so it won't be a lie, if you care about that sort of thing.

"I had to provide end of life care to a close relative" doesn't get followed up by a lot of questions.

Employers like you to be desperate, so demonstrating that you can afford (whether through finances, friends, or foraging) to not work for a long stretch of time indicates that you won’t be negotiating with them from a position of dependency.

If you do call it a "sabbatical"

Some recruiters are not so great at judging people. Instead they come up with rules and red flags to justify their choice, or worse, get inspiration from other recruiters on LinkedIn.

I’ve successfully labeled a period of “being laid off and playing a lot of video games until my bank account got to the area I didn’t like it to be” as a sabbatical.

ymmv though

I have a "mental health break" line in my resume for a 4 month hiatus. I don't know if it's a flex or not, but it's honest about what it is. At some point, a potential employer asked about it with some stern reservation, which allowed me to avoid a toxic workplace culture. Win win.

I have a small consultancy with several staff.

Couldn't care less about a gap on someone's resume.

I wouldn't ask but if someone told me they'd taken a year off to get stoned every day and watch judge judy that's not a deal breaker.

so far, most haven't cared. there was one recruiter really caught up on it, but that call had at least 3 major red flags, so I wasn't too worried. I think next time I'll ask them why they haven't taken one themselves?

Oh yeah sir, that was my year as a porn star, you should have asked your wife about that

If you have enough financial security to be able to not work for a year, then the company may not want to hire you. Ideally it needs you to depend on it for everything, because this ensures you'll be a well-behaved slave for an extended period of time.

"some of your other, lesser applicants needed to 'work' to 'pay bills'. me, I'm a leader, I don't work for anyone. I inspire, I drive those beneath me to further productivity, raise profit margins, and fire those I don't like just shy of the one-year probation deadline. I don't need this company, this company needs me."

dramatic pause

"$250k, 6 months paid vacation, and a company car. Actually, you seem like a good guy, I'll take just 5 months and 3 weeks instead, just for you."

You see a lot of people who hire want individuals who live to work: workaholics. Those are the kinds of people you can get the most value from.

They don't care that these people exploit themselves and hurt their families in the process. These are the ones they want; therefore, those are the kinds of people we have to masquerade as.

"I won the lotto and had the funds to not do shit for 3 years."

If it is possible within your field, just say you've been freelancing.

I was specifically called back to be asked about this. It felt so weird because in my country this is not a common question

They do. It could mean you were unable to find a job or hiding where you worked because you didn't do a good job