Taken (2009)
Horrendous post-9/11 xenophobia and torture porn
Taken (2009)
Horrendous post-9/11 xenophobia and torture porn
Battlefield Earth is bad beyond belief. It's my favorite bad movie. There isn't even a close second including shitty b-movies. It's in a class by itself.
Battlefield Earth is a 2000 American science fiction film based on the 1982 novel by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. It's set in the year 3000 and follows a human rebellion against the "Psychlos", a tyrannical alien species that has ruled Earth for a thousand years. John Travolta, who produced the film, stars as main antagonist Terl alongside Barry Pepper and Forest Whitaker.
Budget: $44 million
Battlefield Earth is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It's not merely bad; it's unpleasant in a hostile way ... I watched it in mounting gloom, realizing I was witnessing something historic, a film that for decades to come will be the punch line of jokes about bad movies.
- Roger Ebert
tfw you unironically like battlefield earth and didn't learn it's a "bad movie" until years later. Kevin Smith was right about critics. 
All the fucking dutch angles made me nauseous
Eragon. It was absolute dogshit. I saw it when it came out because my friends and I liked the books (we were young, don't judge), and while we were expecting trash, it was even worse. Nothing about that movie was good. Total drivel.
In a similar vein, the only movie I’ve every walked out on and demanded a refund for was the first percy jackson movie.
Pearl Harbor by Michael Bay. It's embarrassing to watch. And it predates 9/11 and the war on terror making the jingoism stand out even more.
I remember one movie reviewer saying "You're practically rooting for them when the Japanese finally show up."
Alex Garland's Civil War
2 hours of nothing but empty air and gibberish
Only good part was Jesse Plemons as the racist militiaman, but that ends pretty quick and then it's back to "Woah, wouldn't this be kind of crazy? Journalism is important"
It's a film about an inherently political topic that's almost entirely free of politics.
It doesn't even portray war reporters all that positively, or make the case that what they're doing is important. The one guy is cheering and saying something like "I live for this!" as he's watching bombing going on in the distance -- depraved shit, especially if you don't even have a stake in the fighting. And at the start of the film the main lady says "my parents are in [flyover state] pretending none of this is happening." Then what the hell is so important about The News?
All this is stuff that I liked about it. It would have been even better if the main characters were not americans, but traveling there to witness the mess.
I appreciate depicting war inside the US the same way the US depicts war happening outside it: two or three sides fighting, people get caught up in the fighting, no clear ideological sides, just people shooting at each other from shacks and balconies, and committing war crimes out of sheer anger at the other side but we don't find out what either side is.
The movie is not great but if it had shown the motivations or bases of the sides in the conflict, shown soldiers in clear uniforms, shown one side being depraved criminals and the other as principled soldiers, then it would have been even more shit. I appreciate the mess. If/when the americans start having a civil war it would probably be between two bullshit factions and the outside world would probably be justifiably 
Also, A Taxi Driver(2017) already exists.
Only movie I ever left angry was The Hobbit. Never saw the other two.
Most slop I'm fine with. I watched all of the Starship Troopers direct to dvd sequels, even the "one level above Reboot" animated ones. I've seen all of M Night Shyamalan's films. But The Hobbit got me right in the amygdala in a bad way.
edit: Oh I thought of another one: Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Plantasm. The first Aqua Teen movie is a stoner comedy classic along with most of ATHF's first run, but this film and the tv revival that followed it are dogshit.
Never saw the other two.
Oh the second one is so much worse.
Never saw the third.
Norbit, I saw that shit in theatres lmao.
American Sniper, NO CLUE why I watched it but I did (half drunk). Shoot & Cry cinema at it's peak along with a fake baby, bravo Mr. Eastwood.
The best movie I hated most was Dancer in the Dark by Lars von Trier. It was just so manipulative and depressing that it felt like von Trier was having a laugh seeing how mean he could be. Grief porn..
Wonder woman 1984 really is as bad as everyone says. It isnt even funny bad
MAX LORD you're putting yourself and everyone else in GRAVE DANGER, I NEED you to give me the STONE
Oh, The Matrix Resurrections. I'm convinced it was deliberately engineered to try and destroy interest in continuing the franchise for as long as possible.
Man of Steel and Star Trek: Into Darkness were deeply unpleasant to watch in theaters.
Battlefield Earth legit fuckin sucks
We groaned and called Hubbard a hack when he named his protagonist "Goodboy." Then we watched in horror as ICE publicly executed Pretty and Good. We are living in a sub-Hubbard hack reality.
Playing with the concept of bad "actual movies" Woody Allen's stuff does not age well at all. I remember people used to speak highly of artistry but the films are suffused with a deep misogyny that convince me that he is guilty of the things he is obviously guilty of.
I think if his halo hadn't fallen off people would still be talking up his movies and I can't really see why.
Dog (2022)
If you want to see an ex soldier mistreating a dog played as a wholesome feel good story, it's your movie! There is a scene where this guy leaves his dog in the car to go drinking in a bar in Portland. Some people in the bar call him out for it and the movie treats it like they're loony liberals and you're supposed to feel sorry for him for getting called out? Weird.
Not Without Hope (2025)
Movie about a bunch of unlikeable footballers stuck in the ocean because of their own lack of safety consciousness. Movie becomes a weird christian thing.
I got a bunch of free DVDs and among them was Van Hellsing (2004)
I didn't remember anything about it other than the scene where the horse carriage goes over a cliff and then explodes so I thought it'd be funny to watch it with my partner.
Man, this wasn't even a "so bad it's good" kinda film, it was genuinely fucking awful. I could've forgiven a lot of it but it was waaaaaay too long for what it was. Something like 130 minutes? Could've been an hour max.
Runner up: Repo: The Genetic Opera, but I still liked it.
i'm completely forgetting the name, but there's some animated film with like charlie sheen and hillary duff where the production completely collapsed but cuts of it still got released with the worst 3d animation i've ever seen. was it foodfight? or something food related?
I'd go with Independence Day: Resurgence.
The trailer looked incredibly cool with the alternate present set-up, and I thought it would be fun in a dumb, clumsy way like the original. But instead I felt like I was being actively insulted for the entire run time.

Most recently this piece of shit. I tried. I really really tried. It's so fucking bad.
edit: lol

Lol at first I was gonna say, how dare you, but then I realized I was confusing your pick with the greatest movie of all time. Lol.

Avatar: The Last Airbender was rough...
But the one I fell asleep watching in the theatre was the new Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
It takes more than incompetence to fuck up that story with that cast. It takes sheer fucking force of will to drop the ball that hard.
Zookeeper 2011. If you are religious, this movie will make you lose all faith and realize that there is nothing after death. Just darkness
I will never give up my grudge towards Passengers and
for baiting me with a great premise and then spending like 2 hours shitting on that premise and turning it into a dumbass happily ever after story that didn't have the balls to follow through on said premise and take it to its natural conclusion. Eat my ass space buttheads.
speaking of
, the bullshit movie where he gets abducted during the superbowl to go fight space bugs in the future with his badass daughter.
we paid like 10 RMB for tickets and i still feel robbed
Possession with Sarah Michelle Gellar. It could've been a 30 minute episode of a mediocre TV show.
The 1967 version of Casino Royal had the potential to be a funny James Bond spoof, but it was edited with a chainsaw. Honorable mention goes to pretty much every James Bond movie, especially Die Another Day.
Some that come to mind:
Battleships
If we exclude B class, then it's hands down War of the Worlds (2005). And it's not even about usually wooden presence of Tom Cruise, but at about half movie i totally forgotten that it even was "War of the Worlds" and instead i sleeped on the "Piece of Wood and His Hysterical Daughter on the Run From Who Knows What". I seriously sleeped and it wasn't even evening.
it was the decade where all american movies had to remind you that 9/11 happened
Freddy Got Fingered by far is the worst movie I have ever seen
Does "Daddy Would You Like Some Sausage?" ever intrude on your mind unbidden, even years later? 
I feel like it was so bad it crossed back into good.
American warships
Maximum Overdrive (1986), in terms of falloff... how the hell do you peak in the intro with horrific dark comedy only to end up with a boring grueling mess later on...
Reminder to not adapt your own stories into films on your farts, let alone cocaine, ahem Stephen King...
Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.
Rules:
Posts must ask a question.
If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.
Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.
Try !feedback@hexbear.net if you're having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.