592
submitted 3 months ago by MTZ@lemmy.world to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
top 40 comments
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[-] ignotum@lemmy.world 84 points 3 months ago

If i was an ICE agent i'd probably shoot myself too

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 33 points 3 months ago

Or you could just.....ya know.....NOT be an ICE agent. Do they realize that's an option?

[-] curbstickle@anarchist.nexus 30 points 3 months ago

They are ICE agents, so... Probably not.

[-] Seaguy05@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Do you think you'd still get that sign on bonus?

[-] ignotum@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

From what i've heard they haven't been getting that bonus even if they manage to not shoot themselves, i guess crime doesn't pay?

[-] Lydia_K@lemmy.world 79 points 3 months ago

Feel good story of the year right here.

[-] shittydwarf@sh.itjust.works 56 points 3 months ago
[-] regedit@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 months ago

How many Assholes we got on this ship anyhow?

YO!

I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes!

::flips helmet mask down::

Keep firing, Assholes!

[-] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 45 points 3 months ago

first good thing ice has done

[-] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 27 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

You laugh now, but when they figure out they have to hold them forwards it's over. /j

[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 24 points 3 months ago
[-] green_goglin 19 points 3 months ago

nature is healing

[-] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 3 months ago

Are they secretly good people after all?

[-] osanna@thebrainbin.org 12 points 3 months ago
[-] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 3 months ago

True just like Hitler wasn't good even though he killed Hitler.

[-] JustJack23@slrpnk.net 13 points 3 months ago
[-] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

Nature is healing.

[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 12 points 3 months ago

When they shot Good, they sure weren’t worried about crossfire. It doesn’t surprise me these clowns would be shooting eachother regularly.

[-] DragonAce@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Not each other, themselves. The article says these morons shot themselves in the leg while holstering their weapons. LOL

[-] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 months ago

Idk why but "roses are red" jokes always make me giggle like a child

[-] Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago

Because its clever and has a fantastic cadence. Its funny to me that the start is always the same but the punchline varies wildly too.

[-] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Roses are red,

The humor is mild,

Idk why but "roses are red" jokes always make me giggle like a child

[-] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

Inspiring, reminds me of the guy who killed Hitler

[-] big_dog_pie@piefed.social 9 points 3 months ago

Did they get tired of shooting their spouses?

[-] Hozerkiller@lemmy.ca 20 points 3 months ago

No ICE agents are actually a lot more progressive than us. They shoot everyone equally including immigrants, non-immigrants, protestors, innocent bystanders, and evidently now themselves.

[-] AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 months ago

Don't forget the press!

[-] 9point6@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

It would be lovely if they all would

[-] village604@adultswim.fan 3 points 3 months ago

In the head instead of the leg, though.

[-] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 1 points 3 months ago

Groin first, then head.

[-] MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 7 points 3 months ago

They would probably stop shooting themselves if their Bananadine and Jenkem habits didn't cost them like a million bucks an hour, thanks liberals

[-] MTZ@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Lol did you just reference the fictional drug from Anarchist Cookbook AND the fictional drug from TOTSE.

A true master of the shitpost. You have my respect sir.

[-] MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 months ago

Is my age showing or am I just too young to be on the Internet

[-] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

A TOTSE reference?

[-] merc@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 months ago

How many are doing it on purpose? They got a big signing bonus that has to be paid back if they quit. They hate the job, and don't want to do it, but they already spent the signing bonus. If they're injured on the job they get time to recover, and might be assigned to a desk job once they're out of the hospital. Blam

[-] MTZ@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

I read on several news sites that many if not all of them have not and will not see that bonus. Something about having to be there 5 years, and ICE isn't expected to be a thing in 5 years.

[-] 33550336@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Very good 😊

[-] br0da@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago
[-] bhamlin@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

They should stop hiring Barney Fife.

[-] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 2 points 3 months ago

Ice got iced.

[-] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

is that where all those SIGs went?

this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2026
592 points (99.0% liked)

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