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We will NOT be taking about the dick cap and that is non negotiable folks
Ah, but technically, all gold is quite old, of course.
Bling for the ding
Blong for the dong
Bling blong ding dong
Who's the guy on the left / furthest from the camera?
The only thing I want to talk about is the dick cap and that's not negotiable. What the hell is even the purpose of that? Just pure extravagance?
All the cool kids in the next life are doing it. Do you wanna be the only one in the underworld without dick bling? I didn't think so.
I never even knew about a gold dick cap, but now I want to be rich, just so I can have one.
Do you think all those Sociopathic Oligarch walk around with gold dick caps? I'll bet they do. They certainly will after they hear about this.
I'll bet they'll want a whole collection of gold dick caps, with different designs and whatnot. Probably custom ones with their name engraved on it, maybe bedazzled with jewels. I'm going into the gold dick cap business, it's gonna be YUGE!
Lol thank you for this response. It made my morning better 😄
"Hey, Baby, wanna see my gold dick cap? It's custom, on accounta it's big, if you know what I mean."
It is placed very far away so people who dig you up think you have a big schlong while secretly you had a micropenis.
An unfortunate smelting accident.
He must've really loved gold. The look of it, de tashte of it, de schmell of it, de TECKSHTURE.
I don't buy it, he asked them to place it lower to make it look bigger than it was.
Weird how all ancient people were skeletons.
But for real: was the axe stood up like that or was it just the axe head that was buried.
wood decomposes
That's why it had a gold cap on.
🤔
😯🤣
Exactly. What would your guess be, why it was stood upright, skywards, instead of laying by his side like many other tools in burials?
Or was it just the axe head? I can imagine it being a cultural thing not to point the blade towards the deceased, so it's pointed towards his feet. But this position is a bit weird if it had a handle.
My guess is that it was lying flat on top of him and when the wood decomposed and lost it's weight, the head rolled to the side.
I've never heard of this guy but his album cover fuckin' SLAPS
MC what's left of a Hammer
The hammer was his penis.
My biggest question is: why did the person have no teeth missing at death, did they die young?
No refined sugars
Could have died young, could have just been lucky. Tooth problems weren't quite as common before everything was full of sugar.
Imagine how rich their family would be today if they had invested in ETFs instead of gold
They would own the world if they bought NFTs instead!!
Doesn't matter how much wealth you hoard, time will always win.
yeah they all look pathetic as fuck with all their sparkly shit in their coffin, like thats all they ever had.
The OG goldmember?
The oldest art is a penis drawing
the dick cap
the legend of the golden glizzy was true
also why does it look like beads of molten gold were poured onto it after it was already a skeleton
To me it looks more like there were golden beads sewn into their clothes (and/or maybe a cloth draped over the corpse?) and obviously the cloth ceased to exist long ago.
I'm mildly surprised by the lack of rings.
Coins are much easier to smith than rings. Dunno about the cock-top. I've never tried to forge a thimble.
While I suppose you could make a mold and smelt the gold, and I know that gold smelts at a low enough temp they probably could have done exactly that, I don't know enough of the history of ancient smithing to know when we actually started smelt pouring.
Edit: upon closer inspection, I'm fairly certain that copper/bronze spearhead was smithed not poured.
this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2026
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