this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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I'm a financial advisor and you should take this seriously

top 28 comments
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[–] [email protected] 68 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah but sucking that much dick is difficult when you don't have the heroin to forget...

[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 year ago (1 children)
  • Find a $500k house for sale
  • Don't buy it
  • You just saved $500k
  • Repeat
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

woah, just last week I didn't buy a $3m villa. I gotta check my balances.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

That's $109,500 a year before taxes. Not bad but not rich.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

That's the money you save by not using heroin, not income, you should not need to pay taxes on it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

It’s definitely not, at least by my math. 300/8 (for an 8 hour day) is 37.5 an hour. 40 hours a week makes this 1,500. 52 weeks in a year is 78,000. A much lower number.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Tried this but I now have debt with people that want to hurt me. Help.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Fight hate with love. You need more dick sucking to pay your debt. Remember, don't do it for free.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Just sell your kneecaps. Win-win since they can no longer break them.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Funny thing is I actually lived that life. I was a heroin addict, I got to the point of needing $200-$300 daily to get me by. Part of my motivation for quitting was the thought that I would have so much money for whatever once I kicked the habit... and once I got off the shit, I no longer had that kind of money. I guess I wasn't desperate enough to figure out schemes to make that much every day. So this meme is bullshit! I thank the gods I didn't end up a prostitute at least... but I would probably have more money if I did. Damn it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Out of curiosity - what schemes were you cooking up for that kind of money? Given that you said you didnt end up a prostitute the obvious answer is out lol

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was a functioning addict, and had a job where I was able to tweak the records here and there to make more every day than I should have... by a couple hundred. It was amazing how incompetent the boss man was.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

That's wild, can't believe they didn't notice thousands missing every month..

Glad you got clean before things caught up

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Damn, $300 daily is a crazy amount of money

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

$50/hr at a standard 9-5, ignoring the need for basic necessities like shelter or food.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I've told this to smokers all my life. By quitting cigars they could have 2 extra ice creams plus some cheetos every day. Yeah those were my metrics when I started, I refuse to change them.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

But then they would eventually become obese.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think the real benefit is discovering what it is like to be in a pure and absolute state of desperation trying to find enough money to get the next fix.

You could become a heroin addict, or a CEO that is about to report during earnings season. There is little to distinguish the two when you look at it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

One could end up in prison in the process of making the needed money and the other is a CEO

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

How to get rich:

  1. Get lots of money
  2. ??????????
  3. Profit
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You forgot the 20,000 in rehab therapy

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

You pay it off in 2 months though.