674
submitted 4 months ago by TehBamski@lemmy.world to c/funny@lemmy.world
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[-] miraclerandy@lemmy.world 117 points 4 months ago

Friendly reminder that the reason we get funny headlines like this from Florida is that the state allows the media full access to their police records so they can find stories like this

[-] carl_dungeon@lemmy.world 42 points 4 months ago

But also because Florida is full of these.

[-] Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 19 points 4 months ago

So is my state, but they dont allow this type of thing.

[-] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 16 points 4 months ago

It's fun to look up your birthday month and day and add Florida man or Florida woman to the search, and then look for the best headlines.

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[-] shalafi@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

We're also the 3rd most populous state. It's also easier to get up to shenanigans when you're not locked inside by a 40' wall of snow and ice.

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[-] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 20 points 4 months ago

Lawyer: Dude, this defense is so rock solid.

[-] Welt@lazysoci.al 3 points 4 months ago

Hey did you happen to get bit by a dog? 'Cause I'm kind of a mack at dog bites.

[-] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 17 points 4 months ago

In Germany, you are allowed to drink while driving if you stay below the limit.

You will 100% get pulled over for a funny test, though.

[-] moobythegoldensock@infosec.pub 8 points 4 months ago

Interesting. In the US, most jurisdictions have open container laws: A drink needs to be either factory sealed or in a place where it is not readily accessible (such as a trunk) or the driver is in violation.

[-] AA5B@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

There have definitely been times when I was buying alcohol and carrying it in the front was most convenient, but I gave it a second thought. Definitely put it in back so it’s never a question

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[-] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 13 points 4 months ago

When someone said they don't drink:

[-] pjwestin@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago

I hope this is the beginning of a new Sovereign Citizen style movement that uses hyper-literal misinterpretations of the law as a defense.

[-] tempest@lemmy.ca 9 points 4 months ago

I feel like the law is not drunk driving but something more like "operating a motor vehicle with a blood alcohol level above something something..."

[-] pjwestin@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

Yeah, it's usually Driving Under the Influence (DUI) or Driving While Intoxicated (DWI), not, "Drinking and Driving." But its not like facts have any influence over the Sovereign Citizen movement, so I don't see why we should start here.

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[-] leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 4 months ago

New? People being people I'm sure we must have been attempting this kind of defense since Hammurabi, if not earlier...

[-] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 12 points 4 months ago

Yeah, the magic word in the law isn't "driving." It's "while intoxicated." You don't suddenly stop being drunk when you put your beer away. Human physiology doesn't work that way.

[-] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 7 points 4 months ago

Listen up liberal MADD atheists! If you tell us to not drink and drive, then don't make shit up, when we drink when not driving. This is just like the IRS going after criminal fraudulent conservative religious groups. It's a witch hunt!!!!

[-] blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 months ago

Ah but you are assuming Floridians can read, classic blunder

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[-] SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

This is how little kids argue. lol

[-] Reygle@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

Wait, her argument is it's the act of drinking (actually passing the liquid into your mouth) that's illegal?

[-] pyre@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

i guess she's going by the "don't drink and drive" rule, a little too literally. but the law obviously doesn't say that; it says under influence/while intoxicated, so even on a technicality she doesn't pass.

[-] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I'm not driving, I'm traveling! 😁

(I used to hate SovCits, but honestly tho, now Americans need more "SovCits" more than ever, there's not enough resistance. I kinda sympathize with them now, they're just a little confused, but got the spirit. Where all the "anti-tyranny" people at? 🤔)

(Edit: And yes I see the article is from 2024)

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[-] Corelli_III@midwest.social 7 points 4 months ago

making fun of people's mugshots is conservative slop

imagine finding it fun to humiliate people you've captured with your unlimited monopoly on state violence, seems pretty fash cucked to me

[-] Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago

I agree with the sentiment but there isn't a single post in this thread commenting on the appearance of the mugshot.

[-] Iceman@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

Pointing out apropos of nothing, that it's an appearance to make fun of, is in itself a similar behavior to what is being criticized.

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[-] axexrx@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

Im not seeing any other comments here talking about her looks?

And i think going after drunk drivers is one of the things im pretty okay with the state using its 'unlimited monopoly on violence' for.

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[-] Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 months ago

People on the internet are quick to judge and never forget.

[-] foggy@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

Everyone knows the rules of Kario Mart.

[-] Hazmatastic@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

Was about to say this. Excellent drinking game. I used to always shotgun mine at the start and drive uninterrupted and tipsy the rest of the race. Good times.

[-] foggy@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

Winning strat.

Any real kario marter knows that being in last on lap 1 is an advantage. 👏

[-] lagomorphlecture@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

When I was like 4 I went nuts on my mom for drinking and driving. Nevermind that it was a diet coke...

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this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2025
674 points (98.1% liked)

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