this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2023

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I'm in a real jam here and I need help scheming to outfox a motel landlord (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I lied to them and said I had one cat because after I paid for the stay I found out they had hidden a one pet policy in the fine print. I have two cats. And now I learn that because I told them I have a cat in the first place they insist (fine print!) on 'room service' coming in my room at least every other day to inspect seems like. How do I deal with this? If anyone has any experience doing something like this or even just has done the inspection thing with a motel before it would help to know how the mechanics of the interaction will go. I waved them off until tomorrow.

Some background: I'm with my cats staying in motels medium-term because of a huge fucking drama you can check my post history for pieces of. My roommate declared that I had moved out on my behalf when I went to take care of my sick friend with cancer. When I got back they refused me entry and changed the locks. I haven't even been able to get a legal response going because of how much I'm freaking out and running around putting out fires like this. My cats were in the apartment until a couple days ago when he was threatening to release them because I had 'abandoned' them.

I can't fucking deal with this. How do I hide one of my cats so they only see the other?? All I have is a car. Do I have to put one in the fucking trunk and drive to the other side of the parking lot and hope they don't meow too loud so someone tries to break them out?? I just got my babies safe with me and now I have to traumatize them 4 times a week with some underhanded shit?? Fuck my life for real. Fuck.

And it's not like I can just sneak them out the back to do that, either! It's a fucking motel! The cleaners are going to be going from room to room outside. Maybe swaddle one of them so I can sneak them out in a fucking backpack? I fucking hate every idea I come up with.

edit: I've made arrangements to have one of them at a pet sitter for a few hours during the day tomorrow. I guess this is going to be the plan until my reservation is over. Then I'll find one this doesn't happen at.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

fucking christ, i want to ________ your fucking roommate.

Maybe you can find someone on Rover who does cat boarding, maybe they can help you out if they only have to watch them for a few hours or something.

i would say try to bribe the cleaner but they could just be the shitlords wife or some bullshit.

i guess you don't really have many other options to move to right now either, like even other motels. as an owner of 4 cats my heart is breaking for you.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Maybe I do the swaddle/bag thing to smuggle them out of the room and then I can find like a cat walker who can hold onto them for a few hours. If such a thing exists near me. Nothing like throwing money at a problem...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Fucking hell, I have to pick one of my two babies to do this to and it's gonna have to be the same one every time.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

non-overnight rate for a pet boarder I found is like 25 bucks... I can survive that I guess...

And this is just more sand in the gears with me trying to pin this motherfucker to the wall for kicking me out on the street in 90 degree weather. This is gonna be a time consuming chore.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

100% burning this account and switching once this is all over. Love you guys and I'll still be around but I'm doxxing the hell out of myself over all this.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

have you looked on rover? some cat boarding near me is $12 a night with a few people,

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

One of them is especially traumatized by travel (pees in the carrier 100% of the time) and the other one has been showing abandonment issues and unusual aggression since I saved them from my oldest and dearest mortal enemy. Neither one of them deserves to take one for the team right now. I'm trembling right now

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

it's hard to make suggestions cause we don't know the full situation youre in, just parts of it. Maybe one cat can stay with someone you know for a bit? of course that requires having a support system and a roommate who isnt a fucking psychopath. i guess if i had the money i would just pay someone on rover to keep one cat as long as possible, but then that depends on your money situation. ugh, im so sorry.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

And yeah my closest friend is the one with stage 4 cancer 1000 miles away. I already feel bad enough adding to their worries. They've been keeping up with this daily since they were made a pawn in the maliciousness of this old friend of mine.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I have no idea how long this situation is going to last. Long term cat boarding goes for like a minimum of 40 dollars a day for basically a roomy parrot cage. I get to hope that someday I'll get all this money back in the form of damages but in the meantime I can't watch my savings get shredded by paying a boarder and a motel each the monthly rent for a yuppie shithoole 5-over-1 with its own themed bar on the roof. And honestly I don't want to be separate from them. We've all been through way the fuck too much.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Dye the two cats the same color/markings and keep them in separate rooms. "No that's the same cat, you must've let it in here by accident."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Do I have to put one in the fucking trunk and drive to the other side of the parking lot and hope they don't meow too loud so someone tries to break them out??

I know it's a desperate situation, but I wouldn't leave a pet in the car. They can get surprisingly hot, even in mild weather.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

A trash bag filled at the ice machine in there with them? Of course I know about that. That's why someone would be compelled to break them out. Like I said I fucking hate every idea I can come up with.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A trash bag filled at the ice machine in there with them?

Maybe if you had some way to monitor the temperature of the trunk remotely?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's looking like the plan is gonna be a morning to evening cat sitter for hire. Gonna smuggle them out swaddled in a towel and zipped in a bag. Seems to be the least bad option at the moment.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

And it's going to have to be the one who's been showing more emotional strain unfortunately, because of the urine thing. I'm pretty sure she'll still handle it better...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

If you have any comrades in the area maybe you could convince them to temporarily keep one of the cats at their place. Or if you know anyone else at the Motel reasonably well, maybe you could keep one cat in your room and the other cat with them.

I haven't really ever had cats, so I don't really know how to deal with them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I suppose the cleaners will also look in the bathroom? How about the closet?

Do you have any friends or family who could take care of them while you figure your situation out?

What are the terms or consequences of the one-pet policy? What's the vibe of the people you've talked to? Any chance they might just be sympathetic to your situation? Are you in a position to offer them any kind of security, extra tips, etc. to make it worth their while? (might cancel out the cost of a catsitter?)

edit: also I'm really sorry to read about your situation comrade. but this is the best-titled post i've ever seen on this website lol

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

bump and comment so you get this figured out comrade

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

if youre hard up for money you can post in the mutualaid comm, ill help ya out for sure and usually HexBear overall is willing to help someone out, another of the many reasons i fuckin love this website.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's the one blessing I had. I had to move in with that guy because my father sold the house we were living in. He was nice enough to give me a chunk of that and I'd been living off of it for a few months while I worked on a professional credential. As a consequence I don't have some of the things that you need to show a landlord to get a place like a job or an income. And that's why this is particularly devastating. I have nowhere else to go except back into that apartment with those people who managed to grow a burning hatred for me because I told them they were wrong and wouldn't get away with it, and I'm a queer. I need a home before I can get the first job I can find. I need to have that job for at least a while before I can apply to (let's face it) a place with another dice roll of a roommate.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

theres no chance your father could keep care of 1 cat at all i guess either or you would have. nobody should have to go through this shit.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I won't go into it but my parents were abusive. And I even did go so far as to reestablish contact with him. He was okay with sending me some money but he wouldn't touch my cats. I'll probably get back with him to get an affidavit about how we parted ways since I got to overhear how roommate plans to lie in court to describe me as mentally unstable. They're going to say I got kicked out. I'm going to have a document under oath we moved out together to sell the house. Judge will be somewhere between annoyed and pissed. Nothing they say will be believed again. For that I will talk to my dad. It's worth it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

fuck im sorry.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

pwease sing soft kitty