What is the charge?! Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?

First they came for the spring rolls...

Literally 1984

Why? Why shouldn't I put a spring roll up me bum?

You need spring rolls with flared bases for that.

My spring rolls, my choice.

Fuckin Big Pharma, at it again

Fuck you I won't do what you tell me.

Too late, please advise.

Lest I checked, this was a free country

I mean... I'm trying to be snarky, but I'm finding it hard to argue that it's bad advice.

Patients are warning doctors to mind their own business

Good to know, I was sitting on the fence about this. Funny enough, the doctor said I shouldn't be boofing fenceposts either, but I'll wait until there's a consensus on that, I think.

Are egg rolls still fair game though?

DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO SCIENCE MAN.

What about egg rolls?

The only thing you should put in your anus is your elbow.

No, wait, that's ears.

The only thing you should put in your anus is your ear.

No, no, that's still not right.

The only think you should put in your anus is something with a flared base.*

*If you're worrying about whether your boyfriend's penis has a flared base and you can't find a tape measure, recall that most penises are not readily detachable, and most boyfriends have hips wider than their penis, so you're in the clear.

If you're worried that this advice doesn't apply simply because you don't have a boyfriend, there's an app for that.

With a pic of the perfect girth of spring rolls lmao

(Also 69th comment 🤙)

Health and safety gone mad

I can do whatever I want >:(

Where else am I supposed to store them?

Can't have any fucking fun anymore, what's next, I'm not allowed to shove croissants up my anus?

AI or Stupid humans?

Can I put anal beads during chess tournament?

Awww, puts them back in the fridge

Sellouts.

MAHA says veggies are important.