True taking the time to look inward is always a good thing. Glad it worked out for you and you have a better sense of who you are! It’s not an easy road to travel.

Good point on engaging people as people. It can be a safer first step than to assume a romantic angle from the beginning.

Having “done the time”, are you back to dating or was your journey a destination to being single?

Thank you so much for sharing!!

I almost hate to laugh but your used car analogy is just to funny. Maybe because I can relate to a degree 🙂

There’s always the possibility that a fool may come your way!! One who understands your brand of crazy. I agree that active pursuit may not be the best thing but, not sure you should rule it out either.

Appreciate you sharing your perspective!!

I appreciate your detailed response. Agreed, some of it can be situational. A break is one thing but a conscious decision, I think, is another (at least how I see the world).

To be honest, I’m not as optimistic as you. 🙂

I think for some, it’s more one or the other. Less gray area (not dating now but who knows) and more (either I’m trying or not). That’s just a state of mind.

I think I’ll be following in you older friend’s footsteps at this point. Although being happy about it is still debatable 🤔

Again, thanks for your insights / perspective!!!

Well, that is a solid reason for not wanting to date or be in a relationship. Is there something specific you “don’t like”. While a fair statement, I also find that interesting… without any other context around it.

I hear you on the dating sites. I think I met a total of 5 people in real life from dating sites or apps. Meaning actual dates. I found it interesting that I met and talked to more women in foreign countries than in the US. However those conversations were usually short lived.

I understand about the location piece. I wouldn’t agree on the “… been single too long and wouldn’t make a good partner…” piece.

Just because you have been single for a while doesn’t mean you’re not capable of being a good partner. It’s always a 50/50 endeavor anyway. It’s not on you to carry the whole thing.

You shouldn’t feel worthless relative to those sites. That’s probably not a good mindset. We’re all aware now that they are designed to keep you engaged in the hope you keep spending money. I would ask you not use that as a measuring stick for who you are.

Thank you so much for putting this out there. I hope maybe you reconsider and give it one more shot!!

Dating sites have become toxic ad-filled hells. I spent years on there.

I hear you on the dating sites. I think I met a total of 5 people in real life from dating sites or apps. Meaning actual dates. I found it interesting that I met and talked to more women in foreign countries than in the US. However those conversations were usually short lived.

I understand about the location piece. I wouldn’t agree on the “… been single too long and wouldn’t make a good partner…” piece.

Just because you have been single for a while doesn’t mean you’re not capable of being a good partner. It’s always a 50/50 endeavor anyway. It’s not on you to carry the whole thing.

You shouldn’t feel worthless relative to those sites. That’s probably not a good mindset. We’re all aware now that they are designed to keep you engaged in the hope you keep spending money. I would ask you not use that as a measuring stick for who you are.

Thank you so much for putting this out there. I hope maybe you reconsider and give it one more shot!!

Cheating tears couples apart more than anything. And people cheat because they are not sexually satisfied.

Most couples are not sexually compatible forever, and cheating is common.

I don't want to do that again. I'm good.

I gave up on dating apps some time ago. Even tried the paying member options and it didn’t help.

You bring up an interesting point… I think the same about being good partner material. For me it’s not so much inadequacy but overall being bad at relationships 😂

Yes, currently considering this myself. Which is what prompted the question. I think I’m just too tired to deal with it anymore (as a broad and general statement).

Being alone and not dating could be two different things. That may be something to consider. While I hope you may have a change of heart, I do appreciate you responding openly about how you feel.

I call bullshit. Anyone with the capacity to truly consider their own inadequacies is immediately adequate.

You think you’re dumb? No, you can write in complete sentences. You think you’re selfish? No, you obviously don’t give yourself enough consideration. Think you’re ugly? Beauty is fleeting, and also no you’re not. You think someone who’s smart, caring, and cute is inadequate? Once again, bullshit. Go find love.

Thanks for this!! The why part is always an interesting question. Something that is supposed to be enjoyable turns out to not be. Understandable the what makes it “bad” can be elusive.

True, sex for the sake of sex doesn’t sound like a great reason for a relationship. But, you’re aware of that and can manage it appropriately. Having said that, a romantic partner may not be the best choice but a partner looking for the same thing shouldn’t be out of the question.

Again appreciate the perspective.

Have you ever been far even as decided to use go want to do look more like?

Fair and interesting perspective. I get the impression though, you’re not “calling it quits forever” just trying to figure other things out first.

That sounds like a smart move! It’s going to be a much better situation if you are where you want to be first.

Thank you so much and I hope everything falls into place regarding what you want to do!! Good luck!!

True, the people you choose are always going to have an impact on the relationship itself. I’ve had similar experiences, regarding partners. They just weren’t a good fit ultimately.

As commented elsewhere, I do think in our 20s it’s difficult to really pin down the perfect partner. Not that it can’t be done but it’s probably not as common as Hallmark movies would make you think 🙂

I think it’s awesome you did find the right person and were able to turn it into a solid relationship!!

Lucky for me women never find me interesting, which makes it easier to not socialize… because… you know… people and interactions and all that 😂

I appreciate your story and perspective on this, thank you so much!

That’s fair and understandable. When we’re young, we aren’t as smart or emotionally mature as we think we are.

Once we have that realization, I think life looks a little different.

I think your approach makes a lot of sense. Finding solace in solitude can be a powerful thing.

Thanks for the response and I’m super happy you found what worked for you!!