26
submitted 6 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Hey all, hope everyone is doing well.

I’m curious if anyone out there has made a conscious decision to not date or be in a relationship anymore.

If so, what was your rationale? Do you feel it was the right decision? If you’re currently considering it, why?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] [email protected] 14 points 6 days ago

I’ve had several friends and family who got into this state and took a few months or years to decide what they wanted.

Of them, most were just taking a break from the emotional labour of dating, which I totally get. Some went back to online dating but others didn’t intentionally look for a relationship until something fell in their lap (a new coworker, etc).

Some just never dated again. I know a couple people in their 60s/70s who had just had enough and were perfectly happy to live alone.

IMO there’s nothing wrong with taking this approach, and I think the best way to go in is to just say “I’m not dating right now”. Don’t say never again and don’t set an artificial timer when you need to jump back in.

Things often work out if you don’t try to force yourself into doing or not doing something. Read how you’re feeling in the moment and go from that. It removes so much of the pressure on yourself to do or think certain things.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago

I appreciate your detailed response. Agreed, some of it can be situational. A break is one thing but a conscious decision, I think, is another (at least how I see the world).

To be honest, I’m not as optimistic as you. 🙂

I think for some, it’s more one or the other. Less gray area (not dating now but who knows) and more (either I’m trying or not). That’s just a state of mind.

I think I’ll be following in you older friend’s footsteps at this point. Although being happy about it is still debatable 🤔

Again, thanks for your insights / perspective!!!

this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2025
26 points (96.4% liked)

Relationship Advice

3124 readers
4 users here now

Welcome to the Relationship Advice community on Lemmy and Kbin!

The ideal place to ask for help with your relationships: romantic, friendships, we don't know what we are yet, co-workers or just human interactions in general.

Please make sure you read our rules before posting.

Rules:

Rules can be clicked on to be expanded.

1: Treat all users with respect. [!]

The goal of this community is helping OP and readers, not making fun of them. We are an inclusive community, any sort of disrespect towards ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, etc, will not be tolerated.

2: Mark sexual content as NSFW. [!]

Posts containing mentions or descriptions of sexual topics must be tagged as NSFW. This includes descriptions of sexual acts, requests for advice in the bedroom, explicit descriptions of your body and similar content.

3: All posts must be a request for advice.

All posts must be phrased as a request for advice or as a question. Sharing of stories, personal anecdotes, or past mistakes are only allowed if they're followed by a clear and relevant request for advice with the situation.

4: Provide sufficient and relevant information.

Your title and body need to contain enough information relevant to your situation, such as ages, genders, and the relationship between people mentioned. For privacy-related concerns, we recommend using fake names and broad general locations.

5: Comments must be on topic and relevant to OP.

Comments must be directly related to helping OP, asking for more information, providing relevant resources or otherwise relevant to the thread. Off-topic comments and remarks, suspicious attempts at gathering personal data from OP or other readers, or bullying will not be tolerated.

6: This is a community for requesting advice, not moral judgement.

Moral judgements, "AITA?" and other similar questions are better served by different communities.

Reddit reposts are allowed.

As a temporary measure and the result of a poll, Reddit reposts are allowed following an expanded set of rules: https://lemmy.world/post/317115

How are rules enforced and bans applied?

For the most part, this community operates under the assumption that users are acting in good faith and should be given second-chances for their mistakes. Posts and comments with very light rule violations, or otherwise undesired but mostly harmless content, can be removed by a moderator on a case by case basis without any further punitive actions.

For violations of our rules, we follow a “3 strike” system as follows:

  • 1st violation: 72 hours ban + moderator warning via PMs.

  • 2nd violation: 1 week ~ 1 month ban + final warning via PMs.

  • 3rd violation: 1 month ~ permanent ban.

The goal of this system is making sure users are made aware of their behavior before being permanently banned, but also protecting the community from any rule violations.

Exceptions:

While the “3 strike” system will be applied to the majority of situations, rules marked with a [!] in the sidebar signifies a rule that, if violated in an intentional, malicious or significant way, can warrant an immediate permanent ban regardless of the number of previous violations. This includes severe disrespect to users or groups, dangerous content, and similar.

Related communities:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS