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submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Uh, so as the title says, I want to use cotton fabric rolls as a way to compress down my breasts as a way to hide their growths from my parents (whom i have to visit soon). I tried buying binders made for transmascs, however, I didn't find an option that fit my ribcage (which I am finding out is actually really large). Then, with the wrap, I can wear 2 layers of shirt (I'll claim it's a fashion thing) on top of that. I'm not quite sure how well it will work.

Alternatively, I also now have 4 sports bras with removal pads. The problem with the sports bras is that while I can easily explain bringing along rolls of Bandages, bringing along bras would wierd them out a lot and raise questions. Idk how to hide any bras I bring along, since my mom always goes through my stuff.

I'm also really not sure how I am supposed to hide my hormone supplies. What I've come up with so far is to pre-prepare supplies, put them in a padded metal box. Then once I get to my parents, I bury them in the ground somewhere in whatever woods they have nearby. I can then go there whenever I want, do the hormones in secret. The only problem I can think of is how to handle transporting the injections. Should I bring along the vial, or should I pre-prepare shots?

The more I type shit out, the more I'm thinking to myself what kind of spy bullshit am I even trying to do. Instead of coming out the closet, I'm doing this nonsense.

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[-] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Theres a third option

Come out to them, but double downnon the spy bullshit.

Be late to everything because you had to be sure you werent tailed. Check corners with a mirror. Keep your hormone supplies in an anal tool kit. Put dye bombs in a decoy bag for your mom to search. Depattern the family pets. Dose everyone with LSD. Poison your umbrella. Change wigs and outfits every time youre in a room alone. Speak in code. Tell them you cant even tell them the number of times youve saved their way of life¹. Blackmail and terrorize strangers into being assets; figure out what for later. Find an arms dealer you like. Answer every question with 'i can neither confirm nor deny', 'im not at liberty to say' or 'no comment' so non-answers dont become answers. Learn to cheat at cards. Overthrow a democracy for basically no reason.

¹it's zero, but you can't tell them that!

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

You jest but I learnt well how to lie to and hide things from my parents in my youth. I did mostly do so to hide my secret pokemon cards collection, but also to uh, hide my "teenage urge events", my internet history, my feelings, my friendships, what I was doing and so on.

In hindsight I should have cultivated a better relationship with my parents.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago

Now as an adult, you should hide your dye packs, door handles coated in lsd, truly baffling sex toys, trap doors, trip wires, secret goats, and bulk piano wire purchases.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

my mom always goes through my stuff

this is abuse. please consider prioritising your own needs and either set some proper boundaries with your parents in a very direct and frank way or don't visit them if this is the kind of shit you have to put up with. you deserve better. my heart goes out to you, it makes me so sad to read posts like this. you have to stand up for yourself even if it's going to damage the relationship, this dynamic is not tenable in the long term. you don't owe them these kinds of accommodations at the cost of your happiness. please consider your own well-being here.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

My little brother is too lonely. I have to be there for him. He isn't doing well. I'll handle the situation until next summer, by which time I will probably come out.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

very understandable reason to go. I'm glad to hear you have plans to come out. wish you all the best navigating this cuddle

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

What I've come up with so far is to pre-prepare supplies, put them in a padded metal box. Then once I get to my parents, I bury them in the ground somewhere in whatever woods they have nearby.

I don't have any advice but there has to be an easier way, either just coming out or not visiting them. Where are you even gonna get a shovel from? "Oh hey dad can I get in the shed, I need to borrow a shovel to do something not suspicious in the woods"

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

an easier way, either just coming out or not visiting them.

T_T neither of those things are easier.

Where are you even gonna get a shovel from? "Oh hey dad can I get in the shed, I need to borrow a shovel to do something not suspicious in the woods"

Stop poking holes in my genuis plan angery. I'll buy my own mini shovel if I have to. I'll even use a spoon if necessary.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

You have my sympathies, but I fear the hole in the ground plan just isn't going to work. You need tools, time, a really good excuse for why you're sweaty and covered in dirt, and peace of mind it's not going to get unearthed by a random animal or person.
Would it be possible to just lie to them about its purpose and keep the lockbox in the fridge? Would you get away with telling them you have diabetes or something like that?

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Would it be possible to just lie to them about its purpose

Maybe. I think I could lie to them and tell them the doctor recomended me to inject these. I could lie about some disease idk.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Double floor suitcase with hidden compartment maybe

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

Are you thinking like, japanese sarashi? I've done it and it works okay ish. It's really warm and can be somewhat noticable if you don't do it right.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Are you thinking like, japanese sarashi?

100% what I'm thinking. Amazon however shows this as cheesecloth. Is that the same thing???

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Those are not the same thing. Sarashi is a finer weave. Cheesecloth would be very unpleasent.

If you have the choice I'm going to highly recommend biting the bullet and buying a real bra. A sports bra with no padding is much more comfortable than a wrap would be. They're also easy to size if you order off the internet. They're also easier to hide under clothes if you're trying to be stealthy about it.

Another option would be a tight fitting undershirt (like a camisole). Pretty easy to pass off as a shirt and you can find fairly masculine ones that wouldn't raise an eye.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

i'm unsure what kind of cloth bandages you're talking about but if your talking about ace bandages, those are very dangerous to use as a chest binder and i would really recommend against doing so especially since it sounds like you'd be using it for extended periods of time. a much safer option that you may have better luck with is trans tape or something similar if you still have time to order some before your visit?

usually cis people really don't notice and won't say anything even if you don't bind though. in my experience, after i got top surgery i never got one comment from anyone that i wasn't out to in my family. i think it's cause it would be awkward on their part to say something or they just really don't notice those things lol.

and for hiding your hrt supplies, maybe some kind of small lockbox with a key? then if they find it they wouldn't be able to open it and you can keep the key on your person so it's safe.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

or if you're using a suitcase to travel for the visit you could maybe keep a small padlock / luggage lock on that too. one of the pin code ones could also be useful if you think a key could get misplaced.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

instead of hiding your supplies could you trust them to a friend or something? you don't need to answer ofc but you may wanna consider it just to avoid the risk of temperature-related degradation/contamination of some kind

but also

my mom always goes through my stuff

this would have me so heated jesus. "hey since we don't believe in privacy, can i have your bank info? got any funny sex toys? can i see your taxes?"

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

instead of hiding your supplies could you trust them to a friend or something?

This would be physically impossible. At best, I might be able to hire a locker or something. But in that case, might as well just put it in the ground where temperature fluctuations should be minimal.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

damn. yeah it sounds like you've got it about as figured out as possible on that angle. i hope you have the best of luck at least.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

When you mention bandages, are you talking about using KT tape? It seems like that works pretty well, although I haven't tried it personally.

There are also compression undershirts for cis men with gynecomastia, which I imagine are accommodating of a larger ribcage.

Another consideration is, do you actually have to go visit your parents, or do you just feel obligated to? Do you have to stay with them, or could you stay in a hotel instead?

For how long will you be visiting them? If you're going to be there for multiple weeks, pre-preparing syringes probably isn't a viable plan.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

When you mention bandages, are you talking about using KT tape? It seems like that works pretty well, although I haven't tried it personally.

No, I am using ones with no adhesives

There are also compression undershirts for cis men with gynecomastia

I didn't know about these. They might be useful. I'll try. Certainly way easier to explain these.

Another consideration is, do you actually have to go visit your parents, or do you just feel obligated to?

I was asked this last time by comrades here. I'm not exactly sure how to explain it, but not going isn't really an option. It's partly a cultural thing. And also partly that I've booked all sorts of tickets already.

For how long will you be visiting them? If you're going to be there for multiple weeks, pre-preparing syringes probably isn't a viable plan.

For opsec reasons (i have already leaked too much information), I'm not going to answer this, but I will keep it in mind.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

I wear undershirts with a built-in shelf bra that give enough support for me. My mom found one in the laundry (I meant to bring my clothes from the dryer and forgot) before I came out and she was confused about what it was and just assumed it was some sort of shape-wear for men. I provided zero explanation (which probably matches how much explanation I gave the first time I'd been caught sorta trying on a bra like 15 years prior).

Honestly was surprised neither of my moms had noticed. Once or twice, I just wore a normal tshirt around them and just had to support my chest with my arm when running shortly before coming out.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I don't have advice about binding, but as for your HRT supplies, is the privacy situation really so bad you can't just put it in a drawer? putting it out in the wilderness seems unsanitary, and like too big of a hassle. you could also put it in a cardboard box for something else nobody would think to check, like a shoebox or a box for an old console or something

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

but as for your HRT supplies, is the privacy situation really so bad you can't just put it in a drawer?

Putting it in a drawer would be practically equivalent to just me going up to them and telling them to their face.

putting it out in the wilderness seems unsanitary, and like too big of a hassle.

The hassle is not an issue, but the sanitation aspect I suppose is. As far as I'm thinking, placing my vial, syringes and swipes wrapped into cloth inside a metal box should be sufficient to protect them. Buy if that's not enough, I'm not sure what would be, other than maybe a rented locker (but that runs into issues of stealing and time limits).

you could also put it in a cardboard box for something else nobody would think to check, like a shoebox or a box for an old console or something

If I showed up with a cardboard box, it would arouse even more curiosity.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

The hassle is not an issue, but the sanitation aspect I suppose is. As far as I'm thinking, placing my vial, syringes and swipes wrapped into cloth inside a metal box should be sufficient to protect them. Buy if that's not enough, I'm not sure what would be, other than maybe a rented locker (but that runs into issues of stealing and time limits).

Try to get a container that is water proof and air-proof, and something thermally insulated. Ambient humidity can really fuck up pharmaceuticals, or help mold grow on the packaging.

this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2025
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