710
False advertising (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
all 39 comments
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[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Reasons I hate hedges. Plenty of bushes that have leaves throughout and are genuinely flexible throughout, not to mention fruit-bearing, but noooo, let's plant this garbage everywhere because it holds its shape and makes a cheap "wall".

[-] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago

I've found out the hard way by jumping off my roof into one as a kid, they're also not that strong and won't catch you as you plummet straight through the hedge.

Also, on a side note, umbrellas do not slow you down and hurt like fuck when they hit you in the face.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago

If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

That song is why I ended up doing so much dumb shit to my body, also constantly watching jackass and cKy really didn't help.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Also, on a side note, umbrellas do not slow you down

but have you tried two umbrellas?

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Of course, the second one tends to smash into your legs leaving bruises that your teacher confuses for being hit by your parents and they have to go in and explain that their son is a fucking dumbass who jumps off roofs with umbrellas.

I also attempted three, but its hard to hold three.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

The trick is to hold the third with your teeth

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

Where were you 20 odd years ago? I might have succeeded with this information!

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago
[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

You think I chose this because it's funny? It's a very apt description of me.

[-] [email protected] 63 points 3 days ago

speak for yourself, all my organs are soft and fatty

[-] [email protected] 21 points 3 days ago
[-] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago

by any chance, were you born with a heart that's two sizes too small?

[-] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago

Until I listened to the Pretty Reckless, then it grew.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

I saw them live not long ago, they opened for AC/DC!

[-] [email protected] 59 points 3 days ago

Soft and fluffy... Has he ever touched, or fallen into, a hedge?

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago
[-] [email protected] 33 points 2 days ago

Had a hedge removed recently, and was surprised at what we found inside: half a dozen Nerf footballs, a badminton birdie, and a gardening trowel.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago
[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago
[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Its in the other bush.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

'badminton birdie' = 'Shuttlecock'

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Thank you! I completely blanked on that word.

[-] [email protected] 27 points 3 days ago

Somewhere on the internet, there’s a cross-section of Kirby that no one should see.

[-] [email protected] 36 points 3 days ago
[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

I choose to believe Kirby is more like some kind of sentient jellyfish without bones and holds their shape through air pressure alone like a balloon.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Do his ribs encase his arms?????

OP was right, this was knowledge no human was meant to have.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago

Some people are nice even on the inside. Plenty aren't but some are.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

Tasty, even.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Steady on, Hannibal.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Jacob never rubbed two braincells together about how plants work 😅 Why would it be green on the inside? No sunlight there, while it needs to transport the nutrients between the leaves and the rest of the plant...

And hedges are really not "soft and fluffy".

[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

That person clearly never jumped/fell into one.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

Pink on the inside

[-] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

People are supposed to be green, soft and fluffy?
So, grinch or a green furry.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago
[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

The bald dude behind the table behind her looks like he has seen some shit.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Slime people

this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2025
710 points (98.5% liked)

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