Didn’t this already happen with Elon “paying” people to vote Trump?
If 5 million USD can buy you a US citizenship, why can’t I sell mine for 5 mill USD? I will gladly do so, and I bet I won’t be the only one.
Yeah, is there a sign up sheet?
Good thing we live in a democratic republic that would prevent mob rule so this could never happen
Im totally going to egg some random guys house in the suburbs because of this news article, no wait eggs and beer… fine I’ll just get a forty ounce and the eggs
Still waiting on my gift card...
The Americans already did, for the promise of cheap eggs and an ethnostate.
We already did, Onion. Except it was for a dozen eggs.
EDIT: OH WAIT
Hickman’s Family Farms loses 95% of Arizona chickens to bird flu
Which wasn't even "paid out"
An egg. My kingdom for an egg!
Worth more than $100 these days.
Guaranteed sans Bird Flu!™️®️
I didn't vote for him.
They already did, and the gift card has also been spent...
Strange closing paragraph.
the highest they’d been since 1996 when 80% of Americans stated that they would live under an Islamic theocracy in exchange for a $50 gift card to Radio Shack.
I mean, this is more or less what happened in November.
Bait was never this believable before.
Haha! You don't have a democracy to swap!
Democracy? Lol. Can we trade in our plutocracy for anything?
how does a dictatorship and a side of day old fries sound?
Apparently that sounds fucking fantastic to the average voter.
a $100 certificate they could use to purchase a new Bluetooth speaker or couple Keurig coffee makers,” said Pew pollster Dana Felder, who
I do not for one minute believe that $100 is buying a couple of Keurig coffee makers, unless those guys are going ridiculously hard on the razor-and-blades model.
checks Amazon
Yeah. The least-expensive Keurig coffee maker on Amazon is $60:
https://www.amazon.com/Keurig-K-Mini-Single-Serve-Coffee/dp/B07GV2S1GS
It looks like they go up to $126.
Maybe a couple of Mr. Coffee coffeemakers.
I do not for one minute believe that $100 is buying a couple of Keurig coffee makers
It's not, these are the promises, like cheap eggs, affordable groceries and $1.98/gallon gasoline.
This article was first posted in 2021 and has not been edited since. Inflation has been considerable in that time.
Oh, good catch.
Remember when things were....affordable?
Not Keurig coffee makers.
My ex and I scored 5 at the thrift for $5 each. I'll never understand paying retail, and especially for coffee makers. I did pay "full" price for my Amazon French press. Whatever.
I ate this onion quite hard
I mean, $100 bucks at Best Buy is like $35 at actual market prices. I'd need at least a $200 gift card.
That's maybe two 1.5m HDMI cables.
the avg American wouldn't give a fuck, at all. they would shout "gimme that!" not even knowing what they were trading away, thinking it's "just some political bullshit".
I thought it would've been a Wal-Mart gift card.
Sure... plus tax.
not loving money more than life is so un-american
The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
- The Onion
- Clickhole
- McSweeney's
- Reductress
- The Chaser
- The Hard Times
- The Needling
- Tattletale Times
- The Beaverton