If you’ve chosen to take in the weight of the world, no amount of therapy can solve your problems.

Mine explained my emotional dysregulation patterns and helped me identify the triggers and how to address them.

By far, the most useful technique they shared with me was the TIPP skills technique, which helps me come down when I am having strong emotional reactions as a trauma response or from anxiety. Essentially:

• temperature - use cold temp to lower heart rate, warm to raise it
• intense exercise - helps manage overwhelming energy levels
• paced breathing - I'm not big on breathing but it works for some
• paired muscle relaxation - my favourite as it also interrupts thought patterns

Hope you're able to access help though, obviously it is much better when personalized and you also get the safe space to release your fears and anxieties

Check out some DBT / cbt techniques on YouTube or the like, whatever is easiest to access, find some that resonate with you and make them your own / tweak them so they fit your life / vibe.

I did a DBT course, and while I hated every minute of it, a lot of it is super great and hugely helpful for coping in hard moments and a great recipe for a way of living that's more calm and balanced. I feel like I hated the DBT course I did because the people presenting it had never even stumbled on a rock in their lives, let alone lived through a hard moment and needed any of this stuff for real, and their privilege read as saccharine condescension.

BUT! I'm never one to throw the baby out with the bath water, I believe you can turn anything to your advantage or upskill or just build knowledge, if you're industrious enough! You take those muthafking lemons and you make champagne, fk them. Plus they just mostly showed us clips on YouTube, so lol. The DBT course I did felt more like the break room from severance, having to admit how faulty you are and how this new enlightening thing they just told you seconds ago is going to benefit your life, as they announce each section. They didn't even give you time to process, let alone leave room for if that was something you already knew or already utilized, but, I powered through and just paid lip-service, got my upskill, moved on.

Easier path, just look up DBT on YouTube, find people explaining what you like, give it a go on a regular basis.

Hot take, but I’ve done therapy with like 4-5 different therapists over like 20 years and found it to be of little to no use. What’s been a lot more helpful is just living life with the intent of letting go of past wrongs and making sure that I don’t inflict them on others.

I got a lot of professional advice and guidance in the moment to kick the door to mindfulness wide open. I wish I could share any one thing specific to help anyone replicate the experience. I honestly think this kind of Gnostic awakening has to be tailored to the individual. Also, I was told I was a quick study at this - so sadly, it may take a long time to get there (months to years even).

One exercise we did that helped a lot was to have a discussion with your younger self, and explore what you would say knowing what you know now. Like with a lot of this stuff, the key is to verbalize - it's fundamentally different than talking to yourself with your inner monologue. So you're gonna need a close friend that you can share a LOT of deeply traumatic experiences. Pulling punches and censoring your own speech is just going to get in the way. Fundamentally, this is what we pay counselors for: privacy, not judging, and helping to take out the trash. Group therapy may help here too - I have yet to try this, so YMMV.

On a more specific note, I used to be obsessed with root-cause-analysis for my own psychological problems. I almost got into an argument with my counselor over it, until he was able to help me see the light. You can absolutely figure out why and even how you got this way, but that information will absolutely not help you if you're already in a safe space. It can help you break free of someone or a bad situation, but stuff that happened 30 years ago? Not so much. When you get down to it, there's no "undo" button for trauma, no matter how much you know. Instead, one must look to the present, exercise mindfulness in the moment of anxiety and triggers, and practice walking your headspace back to a more rational place.

Edit: this was all during the pandemic, BTW. I can't say that compares to what we have going on today, but I can confidently say that it's possible to focus on self-help despite all that. It's really possible to separate "things that are going on in the world" and "things that are just me" in your own head, and work on the latter.

Headspace app, omega 3 supplements, amphetamine, CPAP machine

Find a job as soon as possible so you can make yourself useful and you'll feel better.

At this point I'm fully convinced therapy is about making you a cog in the machine of capitalism and not about making you feel better and more realized as a person.

They always tell me "sorry, you're too complex, go somewhere else"

Whatever assumptions you have about the universe and other people are wrong. They all want to connect and love/be loved.

I shouldn't be paranoid about him double billing me/my insurance.

Not all therapists are good ones.

They told me about a Dark Plagus dude and some tragedy. I spaced out but I’m pretty sure the lesson was to always keep partying.

Maybe a change of scenery will do you some good.

He told me that I need to find a new therapist.

Try something other than amex cards.

Bro just do it you wont. (I got a therapist from betterhelp)

The last advice my therapist ever gave me will hang with me forever: "If you're not willing to open up to me you won't get much from these sessions."

Being kind to yourself is apparently pretty important.

sleep just take a nap an do things when you wake up an listen to music

“You don’t have to do everything all at once” and “it’s okay to have a meltdown when you get home” helped a lot to be honest

(...) just take your meds