this post was submitted on 02 May 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 76 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This is a sign. The second cumming of Christ.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 days ago

Thats it, you won the comments section.

[–] [email protected] 127 points 4 days ago (6 children)
[–] [email protected] 42 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 days ago (15 children)

I thought my hand gesture was a chef's kiss for such a confluence of events. Not sure what you're on about.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 days ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Wtf. This is hilarious. Why are men so insecure?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago

I'm not insecure! YOU'RE INSECURE!

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[–] [email protected] 106 points 4 days ago (3 children)

The prophecy has been fulfilled

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[–] [email protected] 100 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 days ago

My first thought was ".... Again? They need some better contraceptives" but no, it's the same one... A shame, that would open the door for so many jokes.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Two balls! Wait.. what's that? Over there... It looks like a big...

[–] [email protected] 58 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Weiner's and beans! Get yer Weiner's and beans! Holy shit kid! over there, that looks just like a...

[–] [email protected] 52 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Wang! Pay attention!

Sorry teacher, I was distracted by that giant...

[–] [email protected] 46 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Cock your head! Do you see it?!

Oh yeah, it looks like a massive...

[–] [email protected] 40 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Rod, check this out! It looks just like a huge..

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Pecker, oh that's not a woodpecker it looks like a huge ...

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Johnson! Radio the admiral! This ship's about to be plowed by that enormous-

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

"COCKLES!!! OYSTERS, CLAMS, AND COCK-- say, am i the only one seeing this..."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago

Penistone is a small town in South Yorkshire, England.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago

THE PROPHECY!

[–] [email protected] 68 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Now THIS is what I want to see from this community

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The universe heard that guy complaining yesterday and said “hold my beer”

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 4 days ago

Everything reminds me of him 😞

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I am kind of disappointing this is actually from 2023 though! It needs to cum again.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

The phallus iceberg always rises again it seems (accounting for shrinkage).

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 days ago

Even mother nature looked at our present timeline and said "Yeah...fuck it....let's see how crazy shit can get."

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

I always thought "D.C." meant "District of Columbia." TIL from the combination of your username and post that it means "Dildo, Canada."

Kind of a weird name for the capital of an entirely different country.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 days ago (3 children)

You think that's big, you should see the size of it under the water.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Also, this is what it looks like when it's cold.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Okay... 2023? How did I miss this? That can't be real. Is it real? Maybe this really is all a simulation. But, like, it's just a game of Sims, and the player started getting bored... It sure would explain a lot.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

I’m so tired of this ‘will-they won’t they’

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 days ago

Finally an article that made me believe I was reading the onion

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago

Fake news! The entire iceberg does not look like a dick.

It’s just the tip.

😶‍🌫️

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

Ah, so that's where I'll find my Super Samples.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago

We're gonna need a bigger M&M's tube....

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 days ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 days ago (2 children)

phallus [...] floating in conception bay

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I mean, who names a bay in Dildo county Conception Bay (or vice versa)? The iceberg is just the tip!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago

Most of my family is from very near there. I remember when this happened, it was quite the event

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago

Someone had an interesting "on this day"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Alas, the iceberg lacked staying power: Pretty photographed the 30-foot (9.1 meter) phallic structure on Thursday, April 27. It collapsed the next day.

Hate it when that happens.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

If your iceberg lasts more than 3 days, consult a physician

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago (3 children)

What kinda coincidence is this? I feel like someone must've sculpted it.

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