this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 244 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Holy shit if these people get anymore cult like they're going to move to South America and kill themselves.

[–] [email protected] 132 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Dont threaten me with a good time.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 week ago

Man, we should be so lucky.

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[–] [email protected] 182 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Sounds like the kinda guy you want in charge of all of America's sensitive information.

The important thing is that he's not batshit insane.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You can tell because of the way that he is.

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[–] [email protected] 170 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 89 points 1 week ago

Even his AI generated kids hate him

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[–] [email protected] 127 points 1 week ago (9 children)

I'm not going to have a lot of sympathy for anyone who lets that guy put his dick in them.

[–] [email protected] 99 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Well apparently he doesn't do that, news outlets are saying that all of his kids are from ivf.

[–] [email protected] 91 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 78 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Since Leon and Zuck killed factchecking, there is nothing stopping me from believing this.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago (3 children)

If he denies it I think he should just show us dick. SHOW US YOUR FREAK DICK ELON

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Not even if it was with a turkey baster.

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[–] [email protected] 105 points 1 week ago (4 children)

The report said Musk sent Fong a direct message asking if she wanted to have his baby — despite never having met her in person. Fong confided in friends about the advance, and once Musk found out, he unfollowed her, and her X earnings reportedly nosedived. At the peak of Musk’s engagement with her posting, she apparently raked in $21,000 over a two-week stretch on his platform.

That's kind of messed up

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How do you make $21,000 on twitter?

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Premium Xitter subscriptions and Elon artificially inflating your numbers.

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[–] [email protected] 103 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Hi, I’m Leon! But you can call me the neo-nazi kid :D

I’m a proud white guy from South Africa (14 y/o in spirit).

I’m currently trying to fuck up the world and spread my genes hoping to be the new Hitler some day!

Do you want to have my kid? Haha just kidding. Unless…

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[–] [email protected] 101 points 1 week ago (11 children)

So this guy has time to be CEO of twitter, spacex, xai, starlink, tesla, boring company, head of DOGE and still has time to try to hook up with thousands of girls online? Something tells me CEOs are pretty useless if you can be running that many companies each week.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Yeah it's more hilarious: he's not hooking up with anyone, this is pure turkey baster going on.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Don't forget he also doubled down on being in the top10 of PoE2 (which is ruled by nolife players that play 16 hours a day) yet he had the time to do that, I can't understand why anyone would ever trust a word coming out of his mouth ever. Pathological liar with a massive ego, hopefully the target of the next Luigi

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[–] [email protected] 83 points 1 week ago (1 children)

dear saint luigi: please please please end musk. and as many of his acolytes as possible.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago

But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “Those who are without a billion among you, let them be the first to lay the basket and fasten the frame for the blade.”

[–] [email protected] 80 points 1 week ago (18 children)

Elon needs to die for the good of the human race

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 week ago

He and Trump. The world would be a much better place.

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[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It must be said again.

There are no good billionaires. Every one of them is doing stupid shit like this while people starve to death, in public or in secret.

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 week ago (4 children)

This is giving The Office "I want to have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends and no one can say no to being my friend." energy

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A legion of children that hate him👍

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He doesn't give a shit, them loving him isn't his goal

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[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Well now I'm starting to think that 4chan account might actually be his, how fun!

A Nazi who thinks he's the Antichrist. What a fuckin world

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Who "Christians" put in power, fucking delicious irony, what a bunch of ignorant, hateful assholes.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

https://archive.md/DNH8o

I put it on archive.md for anybody that couldn't see past the paywall like myself. (Sorry for the hijack but I wanted to see it quickly.) I'm not sure how everyone else is managing to read it for free tho.

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 week ago (2 children)

This… might just be the craziest thing I’ve read since the election

Someone should totally try to catfish him, though. Sounds like it wouldn’t be all that challenging

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (5 children)

This… might just be the craziest thing I’ve read since the election

We so far have:

  1. Trump turning the White House in a Tesla dealership
  2. Trump putting tarrifs on penguins, but not on Russia
  3. US warplans leaked because someone doesn't know how to use his phone
  4. The US becoming a crypto bro.
  5. The US looking to invade Canada, Mexico, Panama, and Greenland while also looking to extort the rest of the fucking planet.
  6. The US stealing the Gulf of Mexico from Mexico.

Just to name a few. We are only 4 months into his term people. I'd say Elon humping everything that moves is just a regular tuesday.

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 week ago (13 children)

As if his sorry assed genetic material should be passed on. Why do all nazis assume they're the "superior race"?

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 week ago (41 children)

Declining population, my ass. There were less than 4.5 billion people on the planet when I was born. That fash-hole is only worried that white people will represent a minority of the future population. Nothing more.

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Is it weird to anyone else that he just assumes his "legion" of children will follow him unquestioningly?

My dad keeps giving me stock "tips" (my stepsister works at a gold mine and he keeps telling me their stock'll go up any day now despite the mine not being in operation yet 🙄) and I haven't even followed through on that.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 week ago

What did I just read why does this dude exist

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago

If ever a man needed to be stripped of his power and influence

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 week ago (2 children)

They way he treats his kids, he is building a legion to hunt him down

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 week ago (7 children)

what's with billionaires and wanting to have so many bloody babies

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Weird Nazi cult pseudoscience based on the science of natural selection - they actually think they are superior and have superior genes therefore it's in the best of the species that their "superior" genes propagate as widely as possible.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

I find it weird that he can be like that and still be alive. Does he bring security to absolutely everywhere he is?

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Nasty ass loser. trifling ass hentai addict type thought process. I've known life-long basement dewllers, they could NEVER be caught acting like this. They're mostly just awkward and sweet with mild social impairment. Then again none of them are billionaires LMAO. It must be the entitlement of people like this.

You know that image of the greasy neckbeard guy with the ugly hat who lives in his mother's basement? The one that floats around in everyone's head at the idea of a 30+ year old man living alone with his mother. That guy will be getting mad pussy. That guy will find genuine companionship with a human. All because they don't see others as receptacles for procreation.

All of the images, and memes, and greentext horror stories; all of the stereotypical caricatures of creeps. None of that could have prepared me for this. None of them fit the boot. I have never had the hairs on my neck stand up like I just did reading about that.

This guy is the King Kong of creeps. The final boss.

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