518
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 81 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

Die Welt braucht mehr von dir 🤩

[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

I love this 👌

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[-] [email protected] 52 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

That's a kingly gift right there, gotta be expensive af

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

I hope they ended up getting married.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I heard they had a cheesy wedding

[-] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago

thank god you circled it, I wasn’t sure what was being pointed at

[-] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago

You may fascinate online audiences by showing them the same pic of cheese quote 9 billion times per week.

[-] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

What kind of cheese? That changes the outcome for me significantly.

[-] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

A piece of brie get you a one night stand, a slice of gouda gets you a date. Grated parmesan gets you a hand job. A steady supply of varied cheeses spread out over multiple months will get you a wife.

Of course every woman is different, but in general the age and quality of the cheese determines what you'll receive in exchange.

And in case you're wondering, a kraft single gets you a slap in the face.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

Source: experimental investigation.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

This really deserves at least 3/4 the amount of upvotes as the one it's responding to

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[-] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

Are these in order? So stealing her shoe and a hairpin with hair in it, and then when she confronts you offer the cheese as a diversion?

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

You have found the new movie plot that Hallmark has been looking for.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

I was thinking it would be one of those mangas with really really long names:

“I Cast 99 Spells to Make Her Love Me, But the Only Thing That Worked Was Cheese!”

[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Duley noted. This may work better than my method of crying and begging for affection. So far, zero percent success rate

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Maybe you need to cry even harder?

[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

So you're saying there's a chance anyone fascinated with a piece of cheese might be a woman?

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Lets test that: 🧀

Are you a woman now?

[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Who needs estrogen when you have c h e e s e

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Por que no los dos

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

You've got it all wrong. Any woman with fascination might be a cheese.

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[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

You may fascinate just about anyone by giving them a piece of cheese.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

This spell has mixed results with my fiance; she LOVES cheese but is horribly allergic to it. Not life-threatening, but painfully bad.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

According to the book, there's no need for them to eat it, you just have to give it to them, although I think they may have mixed up 'fascinate' and 'confuse'.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Is she allergic to it because of the lactose? We can already make vegan cheese that's the exact same as real cheese (literally, I don't mean it just tastes the same) except that it doesn't contain lactose. There's a company in Europe that's ready to mass produce it but the EU is taking their time with giving them the permit to sell it. I don't know how the situation is where you live.

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[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Do non-white people not love it?

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

On average non-whites are like 60-90% lactose intolerant

My pasty-ass ancestors are the dipshits who figured out sucking cow titty can work, most of the rest of humanity didn't try it and never developed the genes needed for it as a result

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[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Grandad, you can't tame the white supremacist power structure with cheese

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

I love the ambiguity of what you're supposed to throw in the river

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

I love what appears to be a citation.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Cheese is good

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Fun fact: I almost lost a GF once, due to a lack of cheese (in my refrigerator).

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Cheese nuts

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Fascinate in the sense that she’ll spend the next five minutes confused as to why you gave her cheese.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Might be the wrong kind then.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

My cheese wasn’t Gouda ‘nough?

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[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Would you like a babybel?

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[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I love that the one about hurling hair accessories at moving bodies of water has a footnote and that there's already been 12 other such clarifications in this treatise 😄

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

i had this book when I was an edgy teenager in my middle class bedroom rubbing olive oil on taper candles from the grocery store and.. wait this is sounding like something different entirely

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

where are those candles winding up?

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

yeah i know it dawned on me quite quickly where it sounded like that was heading..

these "white magic" paperback books from Borders would have you anoint candles with oil to like, I dont fuckin know, endow them with your intention (Id wish the girl in algebra would notice me, so the book'd tell you to think about her while putting oil on a pink candle so when you burn it your "spell" would go into the air or some crap)

that particular book there though was page after page like that where it said shit like "for protection from your enemies wrap some wire around leaf and put it under your doormat"

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Oh boy, here I go throwing maidens to rivers

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

This dude doesn't like cheese, I'll leave it all to women to eat.

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this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2025
518 points (97.1% liked)

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