this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2025
298 points (98.7% liked)

The Onion

5278 readers
797 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
top 19 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 52 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Oh this one was close to getting me

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

Same. It's frightening that I can actually see that headline being true.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

There are a lot of fake internet points to be had from creating a new "isittheonion" community! I would have 100% believed this one.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

God dammit, this is the onion.

It's not even fine any longer... I mean, it is, but God dammit.

(to be fair, i'm drinking and glossed over "relocate" lol)

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 weeks ago

I didnt blink an eye

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

Also, Google will rename Canada "USA's 51th state" and Groenland "This belongs to me"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The crack of his ass is big enough

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

BREAKING NEWS: TRUMP IS SOILING THE PANAMA CANAL TO THE BRIM

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

That's how he marks his territory.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"Economists have never thought of this!"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

They hate this simple trick.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Every time I see a headline like this I pray to God there's an onion somewhere around it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

The Onion is jacking me up. I thought this was real for a few secs.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Honestly, does the Onion help? I feel like it shows things could be worse so what bad thing is happening right not is not as bad.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

I had a few seconds where I was trying to fathom how he would even be suggesting that to be possible before I saw it was the onion.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Took me a minute to see the community

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

...finally, this morning after 250 years of continuous digging, mostly by illegally detained inmates, the Panama Canal is finally home! From the center of Limburg field in SanDiego, thru the Texan sun, past Louisiana and right thru Disney World Florida!

As Mexico and Panama reconstruction continues, some say it could have been easier to just dig here from the beginning. But who can forget the views from Yucatán 150 years ago? What about when the canal passed thru michoacan and you could just pull avocados growing on the sides of the canal... The north side actually. Am I right? Yes, it was difficult, but we did it!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

So the promised wall to Mexico is now a moat instead.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

i mean hey, that's way more feasible so good job