there's a good chance that anything they might have planned for humanity....is a step up from what we're doing to ourselves.
this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2025
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At a bare minimum they have a way off this mudball inhabited by psychotic apes. First order of business is hitching a ride off.
I've had my towel at the ready for years at this point.
This is just afrofuturism for white people.
This is just a rewritten version of a rewritten joke. There's been one specific image that's been shared widely for many years, it's a tweet I think but I can't find it ATM. It's something like this:
Aliens: We're going to force you to work for us. Human: Oh, we're already doing that for our leaders. Aliens: We're going to destroy your planet and make it toxic! Humans: Oh man, you're not gonna believe this!
I can't remember it exactly but that's the gist. There's also the classic:
Aliens: we've killed all your leaders, destroyed your economy and are going to take over your government.
Humans; oh thank fucking God, thank you!
Aliens: wait, what?
Pretty sure it's mostly butt stuff
Been there, done that.
For non-Americans, this is still a threat.
As your new overlords we will be implementing horrific working conditions on you! You will work 6 hours a day 3 days a week! We will restrict your freedom of movement by only putting 2 free bus rides on your metro cards a day! All public transit rides after that you will have to pay for by returning an aluminum can for recycling!
covers mic
“Why are they cheering?”
butt stuff without the dating hussle
I for one welcome my new butt overlord
Yo, hang on there, back up a bit.
...they said, dangling their probe seductively
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.
Maybe the yogurt from “love death and robots” will save us
There's also an interesting Greg Bear novel called Blood Music about computational cells that take over. Worth a read/listen.
“To Serve Man… it’s a cookbook!”
me, having lived for the last 40 years, looking directly into the alien’s eyes
“Start fattening me up before I change my mind.”
Somebody hasn't seen scifi before...
Really, we all know they'll just help us develop warp drive, and be a little over-bearing.
It's all been repeated allegories for the horrors of colonialism. Over and over and over again. Yet some particularly powerful dipshits read something like Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy, let's say, and miss that it's an allegory for South African Apartheid and how it's bad. They get to focused on the idea of a space ship with an improbability engine named the Heart of Gold.
Why I bring up this particular example I'll leave to the reader to decide
I just thought it was a funny book.
It can be two things. But part of why the humor lands is that we all kind of get the idea of a foreign power showing up somewhere and destroying an entire culture for a golf course or highway or whatever. It's a joke that has eternal value thanks to its real critique of something horrible.
Huh, I always thought it was a commentary on general bureaucracy, that systems are too complex that it doesn't allow for a person to have a voice for their own protection, but South African Apartheid probably makes more sense.
That is the horrifying truth of evil. It's boring, bureaucratic, and inefficient.
Don't Elon-gate our anticipation!
It reminds me of the same whatabout-isms that downplayed TikTok as a threat becauae US companies are a threat. I chalk it up to a lack of imagination ironically