Comic Strips

I once worked with that one person. You know the one, heavy enjoyer of cannabis even on the job. He was THE person. No, let me put it into perspective.

The guy would down a full bottle of cannalean 1k nano THC before work and would come in with a massive 500mg candy in his mouth. This kid would impress old Tommy Chong.

The first thing he'd ever tell you is that he ate human flesh. Apparently, him and a buddy were cooking something and his buddy cut the tip of his finger off on the cutting board. He said that they both stared at it for a long time before my coworker asked, "Can I eat that?" If its true, these guys had to have been blasted.

Shame he was fired for sleeping on the job.

Catholics been doing if for a couple of millenia

Basically had this conversation, and no, I'm fine hearing second-hand descriptions.

Human flesh is said to smell and taste very similar to pork. At least one culture that partook in cannibalism called human meat "long pig" probably because of that. I'm also fairly sure I've heard stories of fire and rescue workers reporting delicious pork-roast smells that turned out absolutely horrifying and put them off pork for a very long time.

It may also be one of the reasons that certain religious texts and cultures forbid the eating of pork. It's probably more to do with how pork spoils quickly in the climates where those religions originated, as well as the risk of roundworms if it isn't cooked properly, but it does also stop the butcher from selling you a pork steak that isn't actually pork, so that's a bonus.

Gurantee

You an' me baby, ain't nothin' but mammals so let's do it like they do on the good cooking channels

Cannibal by Tally Hall type situation (though unlikely, as I am boring and my flesh is probably sub-par quality due to poor health), maybe with me listening to that* while zonked out my gourd sauteing a chunk of my own arm with mixed vegetables. I usually don't cook meat though, so maybe they'd do that bit.

* Also relevant but more of an emo aesthetic, Misery Meat or People Eater by Sodikken

Hey extrovert, how about you shut up? Silence is nice. We don't constantly need to hear you talking.

mmmm, prions

Does the “gurantee” include prions..? 🤨

(If you can guarantee no prions — don't really care about the no one harmed bit, as long as I don't know them or they're on my shitlist —, and it's cooked in some way I enjoy — no fancy gourmet spherified vapour shit, thanks — then yeah, definitely, I'm no vegan or anywhere close, but I'd rather eat human than some other animal who can't consent or have done anything to deserve being murdered and eaten.)

Sure!

But "no one gets harmed" includes me so I better not get addicted or so help me