I'm pretty sure that the people at the companies I've worked at for the last 15 years have been following this playbook the whole time.
this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2025
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Mhmm
I had that manual for a while. Time to really pay attention...
Milton was the best: playing music that distracts your coworkers and reduces productivity, engaging management and taking up their time about quibbles, muttering incoherently leading to lost time due to miscommunication, stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars, and setting the fucking building on fire.
Be like Milton.
Just a coincidence. President Musk would never allow fascism to take hold in the U.S.
He will raise his hand to nearly the hight of the stop sign to clearly communicate his intent.
- “Insist on doing everything through ‘channels.’ Never permit short-cuts to be taken in order to expedite decisions.”
- “Make ‘speeches.’ Talk as frequently as possible and at great length. Illustrate your ‘points’ by long anecdotes and accounts of personal experiences. Never hesitate to make a few appropriate ‘patriotic’ comments.”
- “Bring up irrelevant issues as frequently as possible.” “Haggle over precise wordings of communications, minutes, resolutions.”
- “‘Misunderstand’ orders. Ask endless questions or engage in long correspondence about such orders. Quibble over them when you can.”
- “In making work assignments, always sign out the unimportant jobs first. See that the important jobs are assigned to inefficient workers of poor machines.”
- “To lower morale and with it, production, be pleasant to inefficient workers; give them undeserved promotions. Discriminate against efficient workers; complain unjustly about their work.”
- “Hold conferences when there is more critical work to be done.”
- “Multiply paperwork in plausible ways.”
- “Make mistakes in quantities of material when you are copying orders. Confuse similar names. Use wrong addresses.”
- “Work slowly. Think out ways to increase the number of movements necessary on your job”
- “Pretend that instructions are hard to understand, and ask to have them repeated more than once. Or pretend that you are particularly anxious to do your work, and pester the foreman with unnecessary questions.”
- “Snarl up administration in every possible way. Fill out forms illegibly so that they will have to be done over; make mistakes or omit requested information in forms.”
But ... but we're already doing every single one of them 🥺
So, civ v was right, the only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy, is its inefficiency.
Isn't this like the whole SCRUM framework
Bruh this is my leadership team at work!
Same... Lol
- “To lower morale and with it, production, be pleasant to inefficient workers; give them undeserved promotions. Discriminate against efficient workers; complain unjustly about their work.”
- “Hold conferences when there is more critical work to be done.”
- “Multiply paperwork in plausible ways.”
Holy shit, my workplace must be trying to sabotage fascism...
Holy shit it's AGILE....
I can't upvote this enough....
I work in the development office of a municipality.
I was made for this.
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